Overcoming Loneliness After 60

 “I just feel so alone… and have no friends to call on”

This is a familiar feeling. We all feel loneliness from time to time and some more than others. The most important thing is to not blame or judge yourself and know that feeling lonely is very normal.

There can be many reasons for loneliness, and today’s busy technology driven society definitely challenges the establishing and maintaining of relationships. By realising and accepting that loneliness is about being human can help you shift your focus into creating solutions.

So when loneliness strikes, how can you overcome it?

Know that wanting friends is normal

Most people who are lonely crave deep connections with other people. We as humans are naturally social creatures and for some, one or two connections may be all they need. Others may need a large group of friends. Whatever your preference, feeling lonely does not mean that something is wrong with you.

Get creative

It has been suggested that boredom and loneliness are related. By getting a little creative and involved in new activities can decrease boredom and loneliness. You could make a photo album or scrapbook, cook, knit, paint, sing, garden, go hiking or any other activity that you enjoy. Why not see if there is a group in your area that you can get involved, or maybe start your own?

Work on mindfulness

For many loneliness is about not feeling connected. Spending time with other people may not help the situation and could highlight the lack of connectedness.

So to connect with the world, the focus must be outside yourself.

This can be done through taking walks and focusing on the animals or plants that you see. Maybe you enjoy gardening? Digging, planting vegetables or flowers can create a great sense of connection. Whatever you do, do it wholeheartedly and mindfully. Being completely involved in the activity helps create a sense of belonging and connectedness.

Drop the act

When you meet new people, stop trying to be perfect. Being authentic is more likely to help you make friends. To connect with others, you have to show who you are and stop trying to fit in with what you think they want you to be.

Turn off electronics

Sometimes we shut people out of our lives by being absorbed in electronics. Being mindful of people who are around us instead of watching television, texting or using the internet can lead to closer relationships.

If you spend your evenings or days watching television, consider trying an experiment. Spend a week without television. You may discover more fulfilling ways to spend your time that is more satisfying in the long run.

 Master the art of small talk

Small talk can seem meaningless. But it’s a way of acknowledging other people and letting them know they matter.

If you want to have more friends and more connections in your life, small talk is like a compatibility test and a necessary gateway to deeper conversations.

Hang in there with short-term small talk. Then you can then see who fits well with you and move on to deeper conversations.

Be brave and put yourself out there

Then once you have made a connection, don’t be shy about taking the lead and asking if they would like to catch up. Maybe you have similar interests that you can enjoy together like art galleries, bike riding or fishing?

Also don’t be afraid to put a little bit of yourself out there to steer the conversation in a deeper direction.

By starting to talk more in depth can make for a much more personal and interesting conversion and better connections.

Don’t lose touch

It doesn’t really matter how you stay in touch with your friends, just that you do. Don’t put off that card, email, phone call, or date because it isn’t convenient or you know they’ll understand that you are busy.

You will learn something new from your friends and acquaintances all the time if you seek it out and in return you can share a little bit of yourself, too. Your wellbeing will improve, friendships grow stronger and the connections become deeper. And isn’t that what we’re all looking for?

How do you overcome feelings of loneliness?