Mother who tried to kill disabled son and herself pleads for more help

A distraught mother has opened up on the moment she reached “breaking point” and attempted to kill herself and her disabled son, in a desperate bid to end his suffering.

Melbourne 63-year-old Yvette Nichol has cared for her autistic and epileptic son Brett, 34, all his life. He requires round-the-clock care and often suffers with horrific, lengthy night terrors which can leave Yvette very sleep deprived.

As she got older, she worried about who would care for him when she was gone. But despite reaching out for help from the government, she got little in return.

Fearing for his future, Yvette attempted to kill them both in May last year – but despite her attempts, they both survived. She later pleaded guilty to attempted murder.

63-year-old Yvette was tortured by her concern for her 33-year-old intellectually disabled son. Burdened by the reality of her son's future, she made a desperate call to the NDIS. Her plea for help went unanswered and Yvette gave up. #60Mins pic.twitter.com/7erVnRy3PS

— 60 Minutes Australia (@60Mins) March 25, 2018

Now, speaking to Channel 9’s 60 Minutes on Sunday night, Yvette revealed what drove her to such shocking desperation – and has called for urgent action; saying she blames the country’s disability support system.

Speaking to presenter Liz Hayes, she said: “We were going together and I wasn’t leaving him behind.”

Asked when it became too much to handle, Yvette explained: “As I got older, after 50, I thought, ‘what’s going to happen to him when we’re no longer around’? There weren’t homes like nursing homes… There were no brochures or anything for him.”

Yvette’s marriage sadly broke down over the last few years, and her son’s behaviour worsened – leaving her “so, so tired” as she cared for him alone.

“It’s an emptiness, it felt like the light had gone off and there’s nothing. Something’s changed, I felt there was nothing else out there for him,” she tearfully said.

Yvette eventually made a call to experts to seek help from the government, but said it went unanswered – and that proved the tipping point for her. Planning her final act, she left letters to loved ones with instructions for their funerals.

“I didn’t want them to have to worry about anything, I wanted it to be done,” she said. Revealing her last thought, she said it was: “I won’t have to watch him suffer anymore.”

Fortunately, Yvette’s attempt failed and they both woke up. Asked how she felt when she realised they’d both survived, Yvette said she was “shocked” and “relieved”. She called the police, and help arrived for them both.

As Liz pointed out she’s now facing charges of attempted murder, Yvette said: “I wasn’t going to watch him suffer anymore.”

Federal Minister for Social Services, Dan Tehan’s job is to ensure the $22 billion National Disability Insurance Scheme looks after people like Yvette Nichol. Tehan says the unanswered phone call was “simply not good enough”. #60Mins. pic.twitter.com/7b4eEG3TBP

— 60 Minutes Australia (@60Mins) March 25, 2018

Yvette was spared jail in December last year, when a judge, Supreme Court Justice Paul Coghlan, told a court of the importance in showing “compassion”.

According to The Age newspaper, he said at the time: “As a community, we ultimately ought to be judged not on our ability to punish, but on our ability to show compassion.”

She was eventually placed on a two-year community corrections order. Speaking on the show, she added: “It’s taken a long time. I’ve cried an ocean. I’m not the same person. The strength’s come from knowing I’ve got the fight in me now… No mother or father should go where I went.”

By 2020 it estimated that half-a-million Australians with a disability will still be living at home. More than 32,000 of those will be children over the age of 45 with parents in their 70s, 80s and 90s. #60Mins. pic.twitter.com/RQAYk3kyDL

— 60 Minutes Australia (@60Mins) March 25, 2018

Liz went on to speak to several other families who say they are going through a similar hell – and are all calling for more support. One man admitted: “You get desperate.”

He added: “The only thing that’s been offered to us, is no better than an institution.”

Federal Minister for Social Services Dan Tehan was quizzed by the presenter on his response to the stories, and he insisted the government department had responded, and steps are being taken to improve the support – including a “specialist unit” to look after accommodation for disabled people once their families pass away.

“It simply not good enough”, he admitted. “If it’s all based on phone calls, the system wont work. We need to be able to sit down and have proper planning in place.”

As another female carer said: “We’re not a big enough group to matter,” Tehan responded: “We do care.”

What do you think of Yvette’s story? Do you think more needs to be done to support carers of disabled children and adults?