Devastating news – Killer pythons cut down

Children everywhere will be complaining when you next offer to buy them a killer python, and milk bars will have to cut their prices after Nestle announced that they were cutting the size of their well-loved lolly, the “Killer Python” in half as a portion size to help overcome childhood obesity.

Nestlé says they are cutting the Killer Python in half, from 47 grams (630kj) to 24 grams (336kj). In doing so they will also cut the price down.  Furore has struck Twitter, with a smirk as people vent their anger or excitement at Nestle making the python a more realistic size.  They’re calling it “Treat Size” in their new marketing and packaging to hit stores this month.

“It’s part of helping people improve their nutrition, health and wellness, and underlines our fundamental belief that for a company to be successful, it must also create value for society,” a Nestle representative said.  There are claims all over the media that a ten year old child can now burn the calories in the new smaller killer python in about 30 minutes, rather than the 60 minutes for the old, larger sized python.

Do you think it is a good idea to cut the python in half?  Do you buy them for your grandkids?

Just heard about @Nestle reducing the length of the #killerpython!! I'll just buy 2! #MadAsACutSnake

— Marc Bartolone (@MarcABartolone) October 9, 2014

OMG is nothing sacred? Why mess with my only non-choc joy? Leave my #killerpython be plz @NestleCare

— Libby Mitchell (@lsmitchell) October 9, 2014

They're cutting the #KillerPython in half?! What a disgrace! People should be held accountable for what they put in their own bodies.

— John Dean (@JohnDean_) October 9, 2014