Daily Joke: Did you hear the one about the goldfish?

Jul 21, 2021
"Have you heard these jokes about goldfish?" Source: Getty Images

Two goldfish are in a tank.
One turns to the other and says, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”

———-

A man walks into a cafe with a goldfish under his arm.
He asks the owner, “Do you sell fish cakes?”
The owner says, “No.”
The man says, “That’s a shame. It’s his birthday today.”

———-

One day, God speaks to Noah.
“Noah,” he says, “I want you to build another ark.”
“What, like the last one?” asks Noah.
“Yes,” replies God, “except this time, I want it to have 10 decks.”
“And shall I lead all the animals into it, two by two, like last time?” asks Noah.
“No, this time I only want you to lead fish into it!”
Noah is a little puzzled.
“Just fish?” he asks.
“Yes,” says God. “In fact, just carp.”
“Just carp? Why carp?” Noah quizzes.
“Well,” says God, “I’ve always wanted a multi-storey carp ark!”

———-

I once had a goldfish that could breakdance on a carpet.
But only for, like, 20 seconds…

———-

Grandpa died. To break the news gently to her five-year-old daughter, the mother said, “Honey, Grandpa has passed away and has gone to a happier place. It’s just like what happened to your goldfish.”

The granddaughter looked a bit sad and then replied, “Does that mean we’re going to flush him down the toilet too?”

Need another laugh? Have a look at some of our other great jokes here.

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