Daily Joke: Beans, beans, the musical fruit

Aug 05, 2021
"Beans, beans, the musical fruit. The more you eat, the more you toot!" Source: Getty Images

During lunch at work, a man ate three plates of beans.

When he arrived home, his wife seemed excited to see him and exclaimed delightedly, “Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight.”

She then blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the dinner table. He took a seat and just as she was about to remove her husband’s blindfold, the telephone rang. The wife made him promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned, and went to answer the call.

The beans the man had consumed were still affecting him and the pressure was becoming unbearable, so while his wife was out of the room he seized the opportunity, shifted his weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud but it smelled like a fertiliser truck running over a skunk in front of a garbage dump!

He took his napkin from his lap and fanned the air around him vigorously. Then, shifting to the other leg, he ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage.

Keeping his ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, the man went on releasing atomic bombs like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable!

Eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of his freedom, so he quickly fanned the air a few more times with his napkin, placed it on his lap and folded his hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with himself. The man’s face must have been the picture of innocence when his wife returned, apologising for taking so long. She asked if he had peaked through the blindfold, and her husband assured her he had not.

At this point, she removed the blindfold, and 12 dinner guests seated around the table with their hands to their noses chorused, “happy birthday!”

Need another laugh? Have a look at some of our other great jokes here.

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