‘Heartbroken’ grandmother’s desperate plea for recognition after caring for granddaughter

In a heartfelt plea for guidance, a grandmother has turned to the online community, expressing her profound sense of being “taken for granted” in her role as caregiver for her granddaughter.

The grandmother shared her sentiments to the online forum Gransnet, saying, “I have my granddaughter once a week, shared with the other grandmother. I love doing this, but the problem is I feel I am being taken for granted.”

Her distress stems from the apparent discrepancies in treatment between her and the other grandmother.

“The other grandma is taken out for meals by her son and also went on holiday with them last year. Also I never never get asked up for a meal or even a cup of tea, I have never been given flowers or chocolates,” she explained.

The sense of exclusion was compounded when she discovered that the family had embarked on trips together without her, including a recent excursion to London. Feeling excluded from holiday plans and family gatherings, she expressed her deep anguish.

“I just found out today they have all been to London together. I am really cross and upset and am sitting crying,” she revealed.

“Also I asked if me and my husband were going to hers for Christmas dinner and was told she did not know she was doing has she has a house full ( meaning his side of the family).

“I am heartbroken and feel like cutting free and saying I am not have the granddaughter anymore. Anybody got any advice.”

Her plight struck a chord with members of the online community, who offered empathetic responses and practical advice.

One member empathised, advising the grandmother, “I am so sorry for the situation you find yourself in. But as you yourself know: there’s only one person who can settle this, you. There are 2 options, just phone/text/email your daughter and spit it out, or, cut back on the days you have your granddaughter. I do understand the problem.”

Another suggested addressing the issue directly with her daughter, stating, “I would simply ask your daughter why she does all these things with the other grandma, but never with you? I suspect it is because you have always done whatever your daughter wanted, looked after her every need. Every single action done out of love for her. The result is she takes you for granted and just expects you to wait on her hand and foot without any need of recompense.”

Echoing the sentiment, a respondent advised approaching the conversation with patience and clarity, asserting, “You have your grandchild because you want to be with her so don’t stop that just to get at your daughter. Tell your daughter how you feel, saying how good her husband is to his family and that you feel left out. Try to wait until you are calmer and without anger.”

Encouraging open dialogue, another member underscored the significance of discussing feelings when emotions are under control.

“Talk to your daughter about how you feel. When you’re in a calm mood, that is. Nothing gets sorted when emotions are running high,” they advised.