‘Some days the pain is so severe it’s frustrating’

If you were here in my house some days, the screams and mutterings would have you concerned. As I attempt to open a can of coconut milk or pull the top off a tin of cat food the air is blue as I address the inanimate object of my hatred. “I can’t get the darned thing off” or “Don’t think you will beat me, you utter pain in the rump”. And, as I pull with my rather feeble hands at the unyielding tin lid or the bottle top, or the milk carton ring pull, it seems it is all out to get me. I know there are gadgets that can help, but a lot of them still don’t seem to make my task easier.

I have rheumatoid arthritis, which most of the time I deal with and don’t suffer much. I have a drug I take that has stopped some of the damage but I rarely take pain killers – there are times I should though. However, the disease has no cure and I will get worse, so I have decided to save my pill popping until then.

The pain is bearable but in winter can be rather more difficult to deal with. It affects my daily workload more, things like getting into the packaged food or the bottle of soda water. Unwrapping sealed biscuits or a new make-up package (sealed so tight it was never meant to be used); they are all harder for me to manage.

Other problems can be with dressing, doing up a difficult bra strap or pulling up clothes when the pain is severe. Hanging out washing and chopping vegetables also cause me discomfort. I am stubborn though and continue trying, even if I make a lot of noise about it.

The disease is caused by the immune system, which is there to fight off infections, attacking the body instead. This can be triggered by many causes. I don’t smoke, but that can make it more likely. I do drink wine though, another cause! It can also be due to an infection that the body has dealt with but later causes damage leading to this unpleasant and painful disease. The medication I take is an immune suppressant and can have nasty side effects. So far there is no liver or kidney damage and I will have a bone scan soon. I do try to cover all options!

The restrictions do annoy me though. I sometimes feel I need a very strong pill indeed to calm me after the attempt, or a strong drink (if I can get the top off). Everything we use has to be sealed because of the possibility of tampering, I suppose. All I am aware of is the horror of being helpless in the kitchen.

Of course my husband will help, but it often happens when he is dozing or busy. The stream of colourful language becomes my outlet, one day I shall smash something with a hammer or attack it with a chisel. It becomes a battle between me and the object.

Living with this disease is frustrating at times, it is the little difficulties that annoy me the most. Those everyday tasks I once dealt with and did with no problems.

Recently, I suffered more pain than usual and wondered why everything hurt; my hands, my hip, and my feet hurt and swelled. Still, I shopped with husband and kept walking round huge expanses of toys and unwanted chocolate, a bounty of bargains for the new year. To say it was not easy is an understatement. I hate to give in though, so survived the day. I just wish large stores provided the odd seat. My interest in toys and Christmas fripperies was not exactly intense, in fact I was longing to get home, take my shoes off and relax.

As I sip my cool wine I shall still be thankful, pleased I am still here, grateful I will have another day when life will be kinder I hope. If you are having a bad day, then I send you love and hope it will be a better one soon. Oh and the odd glass of wine is a choice I make. Cheers.

Do you suffer with rheumatoid arthritis? Or is there another condition that makes life difficult for you?

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