A father was teaching his son how to golf.
“These are the proper names for the parts of the golf course,” the father instructed his 10-year-old. “You start at the tee, walk down the fairway and put your ball in the hole on the green.”
“But dad, what do you call that part where your ball gets lost in the tall grass?” his son asked.
“Oh that’s what I call the un-fairway,” he replied.
A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
“Listen,” said the CEO. “This is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work for me?”
“Certainly,” said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
“Excellent, excellent!” said the CEO, as his paper disappeared inside the machine. “I just need one copy…”
A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly.
Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk.
The lawyer said: “I don’t mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?”
St. Peter replied: “Well, I’ve added up all the hours for which you billed your clients and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!”
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