Daily Joke: Three men are sentenced to death

I stabbed a vampire, beat zombies to death and killed the Devil itself…

My husband rushes into the room and shouts, “You’re supposed to give them lollies and sweet treats, Gretta!”

———-

Three men are sentenced to death. They are to be killed by the guillotine.

The first man was a priest. The executioner says, “You can go on the guillotine either face up or face down.”

The priest says, “I want to die face up, looking up to the heavens.”

So the priest lies face up. The executioner releases the blade; the blade falls rapidly but suddenly stops just 1 inch from the priest’s neck. Given the miracle, the priest is allowed to walk free.

The next man was an alcoholic. The executioner offers him the same choice, “Do you want to lie facing up or facing down?”

The alcoholic says, “I want to face up … to remember my glorious drinking days.”

So the alcoholic lies face up. The executioner releases the blade, and again, it suddenly stops just 1 inch from the man’s neck. Given the miracle, the alcoholic is allowed to walk free.

Finally, it’s the last man’s turn. He’s an engineer. Once again, the executioner offers him the same choice, “Face up or face down?”

The engineer scratches his head and says, “Face up I guess.”

So the engineer lies face up. Just as the executioner is about to release the blade, the engineer starts shouting. “Wait! Wait! I’ve found the problem!”

———-

Never challenge Death to a pillow fight.

Unless you’re prepared to face the reaper cushions.

Need another laugh? Have a look at some of our other great jokes here.