Daily Joke: A sad man orders a drink at a bar

A man goes in to a bar and orders a vodka and coke. The barman serves him. The man drinks it and orders another. This goes on for a while, until the man begins to slow down.

The barman asks: “Is there anything the matter, sir?”

The man sighs and answers: “I had an enormous argument with the wife. She said she won’t speak to me for a month. I have to sleep on the sofa.”

“Best bet is to stop drinking, go home and don’t let this argument carry on passed the first night,” the barman answered. “Nip it in the bud.”

With a tear in his eye, the man answered: “You don’t understand. This is the last night.”

Daily Joke: Two women were waiting for their hostess

Two ladies were sitting in the living room, waiting for their hostess, who was slightly delayed. The daughter of the family was with them, on the theory that she would keep the visitors occupied while they waited.

The child was about six years old, snub nosed, freckled, buck-toothed and bespectacled. She maintained a deep silence and the two ladies peered doubtfully at her.

Finally, one of them muttered to the other: “Not very p-r-e-t-t-y, I fear,” carefully spelling the key word.

Whereupon the child piped up: “But awfully s-m-a-r-t!”

Daily Joke: A woman went to a senior citizen’s dance

Alex, a widower, went to a senior citizen’s dance. There he met Ruth, a woman also advanced in years. Alex and Ruth danced every dance together.

Afterward, they went out for coffee. As they walked home, Ruth said: “You’re wonderful. In fact, you remind me of my fourth husband.”

Impressed with himself, Alex said: “Really? How many times have you been married?”

Ruth said: “Three.”

Need another laugh? Have a look at some of our other great jokes here.