A retirement village decided to hold a Singles Dance, at which this very sweet 90-year-old gentleman met a very sweet 90-year-old lady. They danced and talked and laughed, and hit it off fantastically.
They continued to see each other for a while before deciding that, because they enjoyed each other’s company so much and danced together so well, that they would get married.
On their wedding night, they went to bed and the man reached over, took her hand and squeezed it. She squeezed his hand back, and they went to sleep.
On the second night, when they went to bed, he reached over and squeezed her hand. She squeezed his hand back, and they went to sleep.
On the third night, he reached over and took her hand, and she said: “Not tonight, honey, I have a headache.”
A man was walking down the street with a baby ape in his arms when a friend stopped him and asked what he was doing.
“I just bought this ape as a pet. We have no children; so he’s going to live with us – just like one of the family. He’ll eat at the same table with us. He’ll even sleep in the same bed with me and my wife.”
“But what about the smell?” the friend asked.
“Oh, he’ll just have to get used to it, the same way I did.”
Two accountants were returning home from a client meeting. They took the cheapest seats on the plane so they each were occupying the centre seat on opposite sides of the aisle. They continued their discussion of the knotty tax problem that had been the subject of their client meeting through takeoff and meal service.
Finally, one of the passengers in an aisle seat offered to trade places so they could talk and he could sleep.
After switching seats, one accountant said to the other: “That was the first time a tax discussion ever kept anyone awake.”