My husband and his romantic gestures

At first it was all physical, our life was not exactly ruled by it but we were lucky we had
Jacqui and Brian Lee

At first it was all physical, our life was not exactly ruled by it but we were lucky we had met each other and fused like one person. We were very much in love, yet I only ever received one valentine card and few flowers in our long relationship. When he couldn’t afford the shoes I needed one year he made me a beautiful “I owe you a pair of shoes” card. Being an artist helped of course. As life improved many years later I got the holidays in Paris, the silver jewellery and all the joyful things like weekends away. I also got those shoes of course

But what of now, when we have both slowed down? How is romance kept alive? I think the best thing he does is wash up and clean the bench for me. I HATE washing up and we no longer live in houses with dishwashers so the reality is hard work; he does it with love and does it well.

It is romantic talking together. Memories we have shared, stories we tell over and over, act like the glue that keeps us together, the shared experiences bring us closer and makes us happy. We can look back on the ‘passionate’ past and laugh at how it was. We laugh a lot, and have a well-developed sense of humour, that is probably even better than romance.

We take it in turns making drinks for each other; I sometimes make tea in the morning, but always make a supper drink. He makes the best fresh coffee ever! Such very simple things we do for each other, yet they help us to feel loved. I compliment him if he looks good, as he still needs to know I care about how he looks.

There is romance when my husband brings out a photo, a glamour shot, taken of me in Victorian underwear, and I feel sort of embarrassed but also very happy, it is romantic that he still thinks I was gorgeous once. (Although it was 30 odd years ago). The companionship, is probably not a romantic sounding way to live, it sounds so boring. Yet that is the real joy; coffee on the veranda, talking nonsense to the cats, walking to the local pub for a meal with friends, going to Melbourne on the train, he makes sure I have the right ticket, checks we have our senior cards, silly little details, but it shows he cares. That he has our best interest at heart. So I feel very lucky, I guess I keep the romance in my way too, I like to look good, I hate looking dowdy, so my appearance is important. For his sake and mine.

I make interesting meals and like to make the table pretty for special events. The formal dinners are few and far between, yet I love pulling the stops out when it is called for. So with caring for each other, trying to look good, laughing and telling old stories we keep the romance alive. The odd hug and hand holding are just icing on the cake, and after nearly 57 years it’s the way I want it to remain. We have lived through the wild days when the music was loud and the loving was too. Now I am happy in this gentle backwater, with our memories and each other.


Share your thoughts.

  1. An echo of our lives Jacqui! I got the one card but the Valentine card came from my little grandson,and I still have it. I used to manufacture romance myself,an it would fall flat,so I just left it. Watching others with their romantic moments used to make my heart ache,but then one by one those “romantic” couples fell apart,and I started evaluating what we had. And like you,we have a very real relationship,with no pretence. We are very much a partnership and its a solid one,based on mutual input. We also laugh a lot and do have lots of fun still. I know he adores me and that is mutual,and it is shown,not with little romantic gestures,but in very deep ways which speak volumes. So I would still love a Valentine’s,but in the meantime I’ve settled for his good,kind,loving heart,which he unreservedly gives me,and I feel truly Blessed!

    • Jacqui lee  

      Valentine’s cards OK, nice; but would love the odd bunch of flowers… As the others say the overly effusive romantics sometimes fall by the wayside; we try to keep our relationship ‘a partnership’ guess it works for us.

  2. You are so blessed to still have each other and making each other happy. my husband always wanted to see me happy and I lost him just before our 50th. Almost on a daily bases he told me that I was beautiful and he loved me.
    can you imagine how much I miss him?

  3. Please don’t tell me they’ve never had a argument either.

    • Jacqui lee  

      Plenty of arguments ….we are sometimes volatile, two artist together!!

  4. Just beautiful…..I’ve been married for 45years, and yes we have had the odd argument, but hey it’s all about communication…..

  5. I love your story, ours is similar, but we have only been married 12 years (ours was a late in life meeting after previous marriages for both of us). We have only ever argued twice in all that time and we now make very sure that we talk all the time to make sure we dont again, we hated it

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