Living with depression

In 1997, I suffered my first episode of ‘severe, treatment resistant, clinical depression’. It was the worst four years of my life. In 2008, the ‘black dog’ reared it’s ugly head again and whilst he still lurks in the background, I’ve learned how to tame him to an acceptable degree (without the use of anti-depressants).

Health wise, the last four years have been pretty crappy. A benign tumour on the parotid gland; two subsequent bouts of breast cancer; a broken ankle and three bulging discs and then a compressed nerve in my lower back and I’m only 62! When the compressed nerve came into play, I started to suffer ‘sciatica’ and boy, does that hurt! You can’t walk, stand, poop or even cough without experiencing the shortest, sharpest pain imaginable!

So I sought help from the GP. She prescribed Duloxethine (aka Cymbalta – an antidepressant) An unpopular anti-depressant (due to its potential side effects) but had proved to be a very efficient ‘nerve blocker’, and indeed it was, and I’ve been taking it for six months. Last Wednesday, I discovered that I had no more ‘repeats’ left and foolishly thought a ‘few days’ without wouldn’t hurt until I could see the GP. By Friday, it was clear it wasn’t the case. The sciatica was back with a vengeance, but I also started experiencing strange, disturbing dreams; extreme tiredness; pain in every nook and cranny imaginable.

Nothing else distresses me more than ‘the black dog’ getting the better of me again! In fact, it terrifies me! I even thought of ringing one of those ‘After Hours’ Medical services to get a prescription. Then I asked myself the question ‘Do I really want to take this medication again?’ The answer was a resounding ‘No’!!!

(I’d refused this medication some six years ago when it was offered to treat my depression. Having researched it, the three pages of ‘possible’ side effects (most of which were the symptoms I would be taking it for) defied logic.) So in the meantime, I’ve discovered that my ‘vitamins’ (Turmeric, in particular) give me relief by the afternoon; eventually the ‘weird’ dreams will abate; and that I must go back to the GP (I’m going to find a new GP) and tell him to find another bloody solution!

Are you in a similar situation as Susan?  What advice do you give to those living with this condition?

If you or someone you know is struggling with depression you can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636.

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