A tale about a horse, a man and a pipe…

The days of yesteryear were so much simpler and as John explains here, they now seem a little funny… Here’s a great tale about a horse, and man and a pipe…

I threatened more true observations, those with a bit of a humorous bent. Well, here’s another to follow on from my recent tale about swedes… I don’t know why people don’t believe this story, none of the older generations ever stretched the truth at all!

Horses were always important members of the farming family, no more than during the Second World War. Tractors then were far from commonplace and, even though farming was an essential occupation, the fuel that was supposed to be available wasn’t always. Fuel for horses, on the other hand, was generally readily available.

The only problem with horses is that, at some time or other, many will get a dose of colic. In horses it can take many forms. The term may sometimes be applied inappropriately to other abdominal problems but in the main farmers get it pretty right.

I can’t tell you the real name of the neighbouring farmer who was the main (or perhaps secondary) character in this story, any more than I can identify the horse. Although both long dead, I would hate to cause embarrassment to either.

Old Jack (as I shall call him) told my grandfather that he came out one morning to harness up Clancy, the draughtie, only to find him in a fair bit of discomfort. Poor fellow had a distended stomach and Jack knew it was a dose of spasmodic colic. The local vet was overworked and probably wouldn’t be able to get there, so the old farmer had to do what he could in an effort to get the horse well. That was important for them both.

Grandfather asked what he did and Jack explained the procedure in detail. Clancy was on his feet, making it easier for the treatment to be administered.

Jack was an inveterate pipe smoker. He filled the bowl of his pipe with tobacco, lit up and got it burning with a bright cherry glow. When satisfied that it was going as well as possible, he lifted Clancy’s tail and… ahem… inserted the mouthpiece.

Grandfather was surprised, to say the least, but Jack explained that the big horse, shocked at the intrusion, sucked inwards… Yeah, well, just give that a moment’s thought if you will! The horse then got a good gut full of smoke. He then blasted it back out, relieving the colic and Clancy was pretty soon ready for work.

Grandfather grinned and asked, “What about the pipe, old friend? You didn’t put that back in your mouth, surely?”

Jack, dead serious, replied, “Nah, wiped it on me sleeve a couple of times first. Can’t be too sure, can you…?”

We’ll never know if the truth was bent in this story but we do know that everyone has a funny tale or two they have shared… What’s yours? Tell us in the comments below…