‘I almost bled to death after the birth of my child’

This is a sensitive subject, yet for any woman who gives birth and sustains some damage, the long-term effects can ruin lives. The quality of life and intimate relationships can be severely affected. I often wonder how many other women have suffered trauma that affects their lives…

My daughter was born in Auckland, the very best experience of my life. I was not quite 21 and had read every natural childbirth book there was. I had no family close by, they were in England. I was lucky in one way I didn’t have severe pain, and when the moment came to welcome my baby I threw aside the gas and air, sat up and held her hand as she was born, tears streaming down my face. I can never remember feeling more triumphant and happy. Though I had stitches and they had briefly used forceps, all was okay and I soon recovered.

The birth of my second child was a whirlwind; he was in a hurry. I got to hospital and in less than two hours had an 8 pound baby boy. He looked like a mad scientist; he had long wild black hair and huge blue eyes. I had an episiotomy, but again bounced back and was soon walking miles with my two babies. There was just over 18 months between them. It wasn’t long before I was back wearing bikinis and feeling fit.

How different when two and a half years later I had my third child, Ross. We had gone back to England, it was Winter and life was falling apart. Brian and I were okay but we needed time to resettle in our old country. Our family had multiple disasters unfolding and it was quite a stressful time. Snow fell as I went into labour, I bathed the two little ones and went off to hospital.

I had arrived in England late in my sixth month of pregnancy, and the hospital said, “Tough luck. You are too late, a booking should have been made”. I was booked into an unmarried mother’s home by my local doctor. Hardly anyone was on duty when I arrived. My labour was uneventful and I was able to cope and remain calm, just as I had done with my first two. Then I decided to give one enormous push and delivered a baby weighing nearly 10 pounds. The doctor and his assistant had not been watching, they should have told me to stop at that stage. I knew I was hurt, and in fact was in danger of bleeding to death. I was severely torn. I had to then be transported in the dead of night to a huge hospital the other side of Bristol.

Yet for me this was a strange case of luck being on my side. I know very little about it, but was told I would have surgery. The surgeon was a woman and I suspect she was an exceptional surgeon too. She not only repaired the damage and saved my life, her compassion went beyond that. She repaired me, internally and outwardly, and I am sure due to her ‘stitch in time’. At nearly 80, I have no prolapse, bladder problems, or impairment to make life difficult, my body has never let me down.

But for many, including numerous friends, they happily welcomed their babies then had to deal with the less-than-perfect body after. I don’t mean the shape or the size of us, but the internal workings. I read of a Russian woman who had multiple sets of twins and triplets — a total of 69 children over her long life. She must have snapped back like an elastic band, or there would have been no more babies after the first few! For some there is no birth canal damage as they have a caesar, this can be due to medical needs or sometimes even the desire to be in control. Many reasons make this a necessity.

I would like to know more. I’ve often wondered how many women suffer some sort of damage during childbirth and what support they are offered (if any). I am grateful for the expereince I had. I was only 25 having my third child, but had I not received such effective ‘repair’ by that surgeon, my future could have been quite bleak.

Did you have any trouble giving birth to your children? Have you experienced any complications in your later years following childbirth?

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