‘I’ve learned getting old is not for wussies!’

Many years ago, this ageing Baby Boomer started her career as a prep teacher. If the children were fractious or inattentive, I would burst into an action song and dance routine. There is a classic, ‘Head, shoulders, knees and toes!’ This has always been a perennial favourite.

When I turned 60, I attained a third degree, in teaching ESL, or English as a second language. I commenced tutoring a Korean five-year-old prep boy, who could not speak a word of English. Snap! I could not speak Korean. I womanfully battled on, teaching him non-verbal gestures and action songs. Yes! ‘Head, shoulders, knees and toes!’ Well, he learned English, I learned that I had lumbago, and that no woman of my antiquity should touch her toes. Was I too old to be tutoring preps? Getting old is not for wussies. Now I specialise in tutoring teenagers and tertiary scholars.

Upon reflection, that old action song, ‘Head, shoulders, knees and toes!’ has a few verses. When we were younger, many of our contemporaries went through life, being, ‘Drunk, rooted, laid and stoned!’ I read a funny quote once, “If you remember the ’60s, you weren’t really there.” Most of the ravers way back then are now dead, obese, senile or gaga. I read that somewhere along the way too, but forget where. It is like when we meet acquaintances and cannot recall their names. The first time I forgot your face … Getting old is not for wussies.

These days, I am a caregiver for a geriatric. He is, fortunately, low maintenance, and still driving. On Saturdays, he likes to attend local football matches with his mate. Swearing at football umpires on Saturday afternoons is great Australian tradition. He is that old, he is young again. Same old tune, new verse, the checklist: ‘Keys, glasses, wallet and phone, wallet and phone!’

“Right, you’re okay to go, have a happy day.” Then it is my turn, off to my local writer’s group. Have I turned off the iron? Checklist, ‘Keys, wallet, glasses and phone, glasses and phone.’ Have I locked the door? Yes, off I go!

Sometimes I wonder if I am still teaching in a prep room. Caregivers need a sense of humour, like teachers do. It is a catchy song, gets in your neurons. Everyone ready for a check, ‘Keys, wallet, glasses and phone, glasses and phone.’ All this getting old is not for wussies, we’re there!

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