Tips for Grandparenting from a distance

Florrie and Emmy are two ladies in our community who live next door to each other and are collaborating to contribute their shared opinions.  Enjoy their veiled humour and be sure to reply with your own insights… 

My good friend and neighbour Florrie and I reckon school holidays are lovely if you can manage to convince a grandchild or two to spend time with you.  There’s lots of fun to be had with the babies, little ones or older, and if they live some distance away, then all the sweeter when they visit you. 

It’s really hard to connect with babies from a distance, but make sure there’s big photos of Nan and Pa (or whatever your names are) and encourage the parents to put them in a place where baby will see them often.

Make a tape/sound file of you talking about your house/farm/holiday or reading a story, better still send them the book to match the story/ies.

Visit them and take photos of your journey, starting with your house/farm, your car/train/bus trip, your time at their house, pix of them with you, waving goodbye, and trip home.  Develop the photos and put them in a durable plastic album, with simple words maybe, and I hope mum or dad will read it to them till they get the idea.

Get interested in whatever activity they’re interested in.  Talk on the phone about it or take a trip to watch it with them – footy, netball, gymnastics, car racing or whatever, even if you hate it.  Ask questions and let them be the expert.

Cooking together is lovely – please try it!  Doesn’t need to be rocket science – keep it simple.  Check food preferences/rules with mum and dad, and start with decorating plain biscuits or muffin pizzas.  If they get interested you can swap recipes by phone or Facebook. Or you can post photos of your concoctions. Who cares if they ever make them again, that’s not really the point is it?  It’s really about connecting, and being around someone other than their parents for a different point of view.

Get to know the parks, and go there, even if the baby is in the pram.  Your place if they visit, or theirs if you visit.

Muck around in the garden explaining as you go, at their place or yours.  As a project, plant some seeds/seedlings together and they can keep you informed of how they’re looking after them, and how they are growing. (or not!)

Try to visit during Seniors’ Week, but it can also be lovely to share in Grandparents’ day at your local school, taking the place of a child’s grandparent.  Bring some of their artwork home for the fridge.

Find a fete or local show and coordinate a visit at yours or theirs.   Watch while they bounce themselves silly on the jumping castle and go round and round on the ponies.  Pat the baby animals and zip your lips while they throw (your) money away trying to get the ball in the clown’s mouth – (remember how we always thought we’d win those lovely big prizes when we were little tackers?)

They grow up so fast though, and Florrie and I often wish we could see more of them all.  Anyway, we make do with a few visits a year, and plenty of ‘likes’ on Facebook.  Make new traditions for your family eg early Christmas gathering if your family is huge like ours.

As Florrie and I each have a great relationship with our children and their partners, I’m sorry but we have no experience with what to do if you are denied access to your grandchildren.  We couldn’t imagine the pain of that.  Maybe someone else can give tips for that sad situation?

image: mia3mo