Help me, doc!

A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr Von Bernuth and sat down to explain his problem.

“Doctor, doctor!” he started.

“No need to repeat yourself, my good man,” replied the Dr Von Bernuth. “One ‘doctor’ is enough.”

“Yes, well, you see, I’ve got this problem,” the man continued. “I keep hallucinating that I’m a dog. A large, white, hairy Pyrenees mountain dog. It’s crazy. I don’t know what to do!” 

“A common canine complex,” said the doctor soothingly. “Come over here and lie down on the couch.”

“Oh no, doctor,” said the man. “I’m not allowed up on the furniture.” 

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