Daily Joke: I’d like to send a telegram please and three jokes about running

Aug 26, 2021
Why does a dog need to send a telegram in the first place? Surely email would be quicker... Source: Getty Images

A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”

The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”

The dog replied, “But that would make no sense at all!”

———-

A broccoli, a tomato, and a yam were running in a race. The broccoli got off to a great start, but being a green runner, he didn’t have enough stamina to finish the race.

The yam and the tomato were neck and neck for the first kilometre, but the tomato fell behind. The yam was about to reach the end of the race when he collapsed from exhaustion right in front of the finish line. Over the course of the next hour, the tomato ran the entire length of the race, and won.

Why was the tomato so successful?

The tomato paste himself.

———-

Last year I entered a marathon. The race started and immediately I was the last of the runners. It was embarrassing.

The guy who was in front of me, second to last, was making fun of me. He said, “Hey buddy, how does it feel to be last?”

I replied, “You really want to know?”

Then I dropped out of the race.

———-

There was a runner. He was the fastest in the world and promised to all the chefs in the world that if they could bring him his favourite kind of hot dog while he was on his daily jog, then he would give them free running lessons.

Hundreds of chefs attempted to give him the best recipe after catching him, yet they all failed.

Finally, a humble chef from New York decided to try out. He made his hot dog for this runner and caught up to him.

As soon as the runner took a bite, he was amazed. It really was the best hot dog he’d ever eaten. He then asked the chef how he knew the recipe and was able to catch up to him.

The chef was surprised, thinking it was obvious and responded, “Well, I just took my thyme and mustard the energy to ketchup!”

Need another laugh? Have a look at some of our other great jokes here.

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