What it means when you dream of loss

We have compiled dreams from our readers into categories of common dream themes, and dream analyst Jane Teresa Anderson has kindly provided possible interpretations of those dreams (within the limits of the information provided about the dream).

This time Jane Teresa explores one of the more terrifying and disconcerting dream themes that most of us have probably experienced at some point; being unable to scream or choking. There’s more to them than you think though. 

This week’s theme: Loss

Read more: What it means when you can’t scream in your dream

“I dreamt of misplacing my baby and trying to find her for my mum to see, without giving away the fact that I didn’t know where she was. I could hear her crying, but there were piles of laundry and bed sheets preventing me finding her.”

It’s easy to dismiss this kind of dream as being an anxiety dream, but it’s more rewarding for the dreamer to look deeper. The cry she hears is probably her own cry, a part of herself that has been buried beneath all the piles of work that come with being the parent of a small baby or child. It’s positive that she uses the word misplaced, instead of lost. She doesn’t feel she’s completely lost connection with something she’s trying to nurture within herself, it’s more that she feels it’s been misplaced, and she’s actively looking for it, even in the face of uncertainty.

“I dream of losing and not being able to find things; my car, my cats etc.”

This dreamer might like to begin by working out what these things represent to her in life. She might say her car represents her mobility, or freedom, or work, or image, or financial responsibility: a couple of minutes will help her to find her personal association. Her cats might represent company, responsibility, or any number of things. In my example, both car and cats represent responsibility. When she makes her lists, the dreamer is looking for what the various things she loses in her dreams have in common.  Following my example, when she has this dream she may feel or fear she’s losing a connection to responsibility, and is trying to find it. She may discover she needs to take more responsibility in an area of her life, or she may discover that she takes too much responsibility because she’s scared of losing her independence. (Cars and cats may represent independence for some people).

“When my eldest was a baby I dreamt she was a crying baby and I threw it over the balcony, then realised I had thrown the baby over.”

 On one level the dreamer may have been trying to process the challenges of being a first-time mother. Dreams work hard at solving problems, and tossing the baby over the balcony was perhaps a dream solution, quickly rejected by the mother on awakening.

Our dreams do not offer wisdom, but they do offer the opportunity of gaining wisdom through exploring what our dreams reveal about the way we process our experiences. On a deeper level, this dream most likely reflects something else in the dreamer’s life that she felt she had thrown away in frustration: new mothers everywhere would instantly be able to draw up a long list of possibilities here: sense of self, self-care, housework, career, just for starters.

Again at a deeper level, the crying baby probably represents an aspect of the dreamer that is crying, for example, crying out for nurturing. When you interpret all the details in a dream you get an accurate picture of the meaning of the dream.

This type of dream may come up when the dreamer feels or fears she is losing touch with something in her life, particularly something in her inner life.  It’s never about the baby, the car, or the handbag, but these symbols help the dreamer to identify the real sense of loss.

Jane Teresa Anderson is a Brisbane-based dream analyst, dream therapist, author, and frequent guest on radio and television, who helps dreamers resolve issues by gaining insightful perspective into their dreams.

Have you had a dream where you’ve lost something important?