Cut stress out of your life with these simple tips

Pauline McKinnon is a psychotherapist at the Stillness Meditation Therapy Centre.

We hear the word ‘stress’ all the time these days.  And we have to admit that yes, we do seem to be living in stressful times.

Our society is structured around appearance and capability and on the whole, we’ve also come to believe in the importance of distraction.  We find ourselves wading through a culture that has been created where personal solitude is seen as loneliness, treasured silence is seen as boredom and the need for personal space equates with being anti-social.  We live with constant distraction and busyness – and that seems to mean you’re a success!  But incessant distraction, if not managed well, is not at all successful.  In fact that very busy-ness can be harmful.

These days even young people find themselves in constant demand, being mentally and physically on the go … with plenty of places to go, too, and how to get there fast!  Life is filled with noise pollution and visual information, relentless communication and countless gadgets. Then there’s the pressure of advertising!  How to choose and what to buy from such a range of options are questions that the whole population can be regularly faced with and therefore many feel stressed by this huge drain on the human brain.  Add to this the doubtful pleasures of online shopping or keeping up with hundreds of so-called ‘friends’ on Facebook and similar attractions, and you have an even stronger drain on the brain!

It seems that the pleasures of modern society while fascinating, useful and convenient may be less so if the brain can avoid feeling stressed.  What goes wrong is that too much mental stimulus without rest starts to challenge the nervous system – and stress is the result – unless we have skills to manage it.

Unfortunately, many ‘manage’ their stressed feelings by using nervous tension to get through or get by or overcome feelings of stress.  Or by relying on the drive to push themselves too much – or the seemingly easy option of swallowing pills or ‘grog’ or maybe drugs … or avoiding situations that seem difficult.  It can be easy to say I’m sort of doing alright – and yet … something’s just not quite right at all …?

This is when we really need coping skills, or ‘stressed’ feelings will increase more and more. When people are stressed they feel strained.  This happens because nervous tension level increases under pressure.  Raised tension is a message to the brain that there’s danger ahead.  (In pre-historic times that danger might have been something like the approach of a wild animal or an enemy tribe.  These days, danger might simply mean missing the train and not getting where we need to be on time)!

It’s important to know that tension increases anxiety and those two reactions create what we know as ‘stress’.  If this situation is not addressed, very soon exhaustion will emerge.   Over-stimulation, anxiety, tension and exhaustion create a stress cocktail that rapidly decreases the person’s coping ability.  Then along comes some life difficulty such as financial worry, retrenchment, retirement or illness and the scene is set for a ‘burnout, break-down’ or stress diagnosis.

When I first meet a new client, very often their strain visibly shows.  When anxious, tense, stressed or depressed, the facial features appear tight, twitchy, nervous or sad.  Hands are restless.  Nails may be bitten down.  Legs are crossed and uncrossed and the eyes, often close to tears, are wide with apprehension.  This is when I long to introduce them to the experience of ‘Stillness’, knowing that its deep, relaxing effects will soon bring their reactions back into balance.  That’s when it’s just wonderful to see individual progress by the appearance on people’s faces as they gradually begin to live less stressfully.

And as the days and weeks pass and the client becomes a regular visitor, more magic happens!  The practice of stillness is morphing into living calm.  They may not know it yet but there’s a serenity appearing.  ‘Stillness’ is becoming part of their life.  The smile is brighter and more spontaneous.  The eyes look rested.  The nervous habits have vanished.  Nails are growing and excessive lines are smoothing out.  He or she may not yet have arrived at their desired outcome.  But the way there is certainly making a difference and a kind of calm beauty is emerging – the practice of ‘stillness’ is really another form of beauty therapy!

Calmness leads to confidence.  Confidence leads to courage.  Courage means facing life challenges, meeting those challenges and being rewarded with success.  Success brings contentment … and so life gets better … and at last – stress truly begins to take a back seat! 

Here’s a nutshell description of the first steps to ‘stillness’.

1. Each day set aside time to let yourself ‘just be still’.
2. Set a gentle timer for at least ten minutes – just for you to really relax
3. Sit on an upright chair or seat with your feet flat on the floor and your hands resting loosely in your lap
4. Allow your eyes fall closed, quite easily and naturally
5. Notice areas of physical tension within your body and quite effortlessly, begin to let them go
6. And without making any effort in any way, allow your mind to let go, too, drifting into a state of something like simple day-dreaming
7. Enjoy doing absolutely nothing for that time … and when you open your eyes to the timer, you will feel more relaxed than before you sat down …
8. If you practice that each day, little by little the relaxed feeling will begin to stay longer and longer within your life
9. Then you will find it’s easier to be more relaxed in everything you do in everyday life

10. Remember – letting go of tension starts to ‘de-still’ the stress cocktail!

To introduce myself, may I tell you a little about the major part of my work life?  As it happens, for about 30 years now I have conducted my own business, helping a wide range of people, males and females – from age 8 to 80 and beyond and from all walks of life – to understand and manage what stress really means and how to lessen its influence. 

 Though I’m also an author and a psychotherapist, my work primarily focuses upon assisting clients to experience a very special style of meditation – Stillness Meditation Therapy – SMT®.

photo: Krappweis