Never underestimate the awesome benefits of a cuppa and a chat

I was sitting in the sun this morning mentally composing my weekly column when a blog by Valerie Gumley caught my eye.

‘I feel I’ve lost my sense of purpose now that I’m not working’

I immediately related to Valerie’s story because I too have felt ‘where do I fit in’. Briefly, I moved from New South Wales to Queensland in my late 50’s. Like Valerie, I tried to meet new people, via many avenues, including volunteering as suggested by some of the people who commented on the blog. Never a truer word spoken than when Valerie said:

“Though I have met numerous lovely people I still feel lost and I am now realising that so many of us over-60s feel the same. If you have recently retired or, like me, had to give up work and/ or move to an area where you know nobody, it’s really difficult. It’s also not something spoken about openly. You give up your friends, sometimes you are far from family, you may suddenly be on your own through divorce or loss, so where do you fit in.”

This is exactly what happens to many Baby Boomers. Whether by choice or circumstance, many of us find ourselves outside our friendship comfort zone. We do try to meet new people, but only an old friend will burst into laughter when you say one word; only an old friend knows how you earned all your wrinkles and which ones are joyful, which ones sad; only an old friend shares your memories.

I also take no offence whatsoever that Valerie says she enjoys the Starts at 60 Community Meet-ups and is meeting lovely new people, but it’s not the same as your old friends. Yet this is the very reason we hold the community meet-ups!

Let me share this blog of mine from February 2014

The Starts at Sixty community is real… Coffee anyone? 

From one little email to Starts at 60, two women met for coffee. From that meeting came the blog and from its comments, Hazel and I met other people. The initial group has scattered far and wide – some moved “Hi Jeni”, some are travelling “Hi Christine and Hazel” but a number of us still get together every month or so.

Rebecca Wilson, Founder and CEO of Starts at 60 took a few people having coffee/lunch together and sent the message around Australia and New Zealand. The quote “mighty oaks from tiny acorns grow” is so apt to describe how our Starts at 60.Club Community Meet-up took root and now has 64 mighty branches in Australia and New Zealand.

Have we alleviated the loneliness in our community? Unfortunately no, but people such as our volunteer hosts, Valerie and yours truly are making progress. Can I promise you’ll meet your new BFF? Probably not because the memories of a lifetime can’t be replicated.

But I can promise that once a month you can put on your glad rags and meet up with people in your community for a cuppa and a chat. This is where we will make new memories and with “a little help from our <new> friends” we’ll fit in again.

On the journey, Valerie, we’ll drink oceans of coffee and have lots of laughs  I confess I enjoy a good chat as much as I enjoy a good book, so chances are there will also be lots of book chat.