While sitting at a table in the clubhouse after a game, a player remarked to a fellow club member: “I’m not going to play golf with Jim Law anymore. He cheats.”
“Why do you say that?” asked his friend.
“Well, he found his lost ball two feet from the green,” replied the man indignantly.
“That’s entirely possible,” commented his friend.
“Not when I had his golf ball in my pocket,” retorted the man with finality.
A fisherman from the city was out on a lake in a small boat. He noticed another man in a small boat open his tackle box and take out a mirror. Being curious, the man rowed over and asked: “What is the mirror for?”
“That’s my secret way to catch fish,” said the other man. “Shine the mirror on the top of the water. The fish notice the spot of sun on the water above and they swim to the surface. Then I just reach down and net them and pull them into the boat.”
“Wow! Does that really work?”
“You bet it does.”
“Would you be interested in selling that mirror? I’ll give you $30 for it.”
After the money was transferred, the city fisherman asked: “By the way, how many fish have you caught this week?”
“You’re the sixth,” he said.
A driver was pulled over by a police officer for speeding.
As the officer was writing the ticket, she noticed several machetes in the car. “What are those for?” she asked suspiciously.
“I’m a juggler,” the man replied. “I use those in my act.”
“Well, show me,” the officer demanded.
The driver got out the machetes and started juggling them, starting with three, then more, and then finally seven at one time. He juggled them overhand, underhand and behind the back, putting on a dazzling show and amazing the officer.
As another car passed by, the driver did a double take, and said to himself: “I’ve got to give up drinking! Look at the test they’re giving now.”