Daily Joke: A painter received a unique request

A painter by the name of Murphy, while not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. Over a short number of years, his fame grew and soon people from all over the country were flocking to his town to get him to paint their likenesses.

One day, a beautiful young woman arrived at his house in a stretch limo and asked if he would paint her in the nude. This being the first time anyone had made such a request he was a bit perturbed, particularly when the woman told him that money was no object. In fact she was willing to pay up to 10,000 pounds.

Not wanting to get into any marital strife, he asked her to wait while he went into the house to confer with Mary, his wife. They talked much about the rightness and wrongness of it. It was hard to make the decision but finally his wife agreed, on one condition.

In a few minutes he returned. “It would be my pleasure to paint your portrait, missus,” he said. “The wife says it’s okay. I’ll paint you in the nude all right, but I have to at least leave me socks on, so I have a place to wipe me brushes.”

A husband and wife were talking in the bathroom

“It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,” Jack says as he stepped out of the shower. “Honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?”

“Probably that I married you for your money,” she replied.

Jimmy’s English teacher was shocked at his poor paper

Jimmy’s English teacher was a perfectionist and demanded the very best of his pupils. So it was only to be expected that he would get furious when Little Jimmy handed in a poor paper.

“This is the worst essay it has ever been my misfortune to read,” ranted the teacher. “It has too many mistakes. I can’t understand how one person would have made all these mistakes.”

“One person didn’t,” replied Little Jimmy defensively. “My father helped me.”