What pisses me off: The heat

The intense heat of late has been knocking the absolute stuffing out of me; I cannot function without the air conditioner. I know the electricity bill is going to piss me off, ut I have no choice. The wildlife is a tad pissed off with it as well, we are getting a variety of lizards coming into the back yard looking for water. One very big Eastern Brown Water Dragon named Harry Potter appears to be settling in.Mum sits on the verandah for ages just watching to see what he does, sort of like a Mexican stand-off, but neither of them are Mexican, and only the lizard is standing.

 

Thinking back, maybe I had heat stroke because I dug a hole and lined it with plastic so Harry would have a pool to cool off. I was sweating like a pig making a pool for a lizard; he was looking at me no doubt thinking I was an idiot.  was quite fond of him until a huge blue tongue was coming across the yard and Harry attacked him,

           

I bathed the dog yesterday and then left her outside to dry. Harry Potter decided to visit, my little dog flew off her chair and stopped short when Harry stood upright and scared the daylights out of her she started to scream and did not stop. Lucky I was out the back when the altercation occurred, it took a lavender bath a walk and an hour of cuddles to calm my dog. That lizard is full of attitude, and it is starting to piss me off.

           

I have also been keeping water containers full for the wild birds. Mum use to love to feed the magpies until “Birdgate” happened.But Mum’s opinion quickly changed when the Magpies started bringing their aunties, uncles and cousins into the yard. They would all be singing to be fed long before Mum was even out of bed. I was considering selling a kidney on the black market to pay for all the mince.

         

         

 I saw a line of small mince balls going from the back porch into the house and one very big very panicked magpie dodging the ceiling fans while flying around the kitchen and loungeroom.Bird poop and feathers were going everywhere.I grabbed a broom and managed to whack it out the back door nearly knocking Mum out in the process, the bird got up and started running to the back door again. I slammed the door shut; it felt like I was in a real life episode of Angry Birds. Mum said she was trying to train a smaller bird when the gates of hell opened up, and the big one flew in the house, and all hell broke loose.I got back in the shower to de-poop myself and Mum went and changed her knickers……She never fed the Magpies again after that.