Reflections of my life 15



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In the twilight of my remembered years, I marvel at the progress displayed. A tear forms in my eye. To think that I would ponder the thoughts of man and be brave enough to greet the cutting edge of life.

My pen moves across the page, each once dim memory displayed. I wipe away a tear. Surely it was only yesterday? A cup of cheer, to help ease the pain awakened by each word I write. The blanket tucked carefully around my knees, by gentle caring hands. Slips to the floor and my once nimble legs refuse to move.

This is the cutting edge of life? I don’t think so! The words I write, to be read when my life slips away, will tell a story of a woman, unrecognised by all who see only this old woman despairing of life. My hand grips the pen and moves on.

Remember this soul well in the years to unfold…all was not easy or so I am told.

Each memory like an old movie moves across my mind. The pen slips from my hand as pain wracks my body. Oh for the carefree days of youth that slowly fade from my mind I sleep only to dream of another time, another place, another me.

Still there is hope as a new dawn of light glimmers through the forest of age and pure delight…I remember more this day than I did last night…

If only I could wipe away the fears of past events in yesteryears, of pain and heartbreaks still unhealed. Another night, I’ve been this way. The dreaded thought unfolds and is displayed. In dreams tormenting here of past regrets and taunting jeers, I did not think to say, but, maybe, another day?

Oh that I could hold fast this dream! I would linger here awhile, but I know my dreams will be relived in my children. My immortality is ensured. I smile, a smile of ‘knowing’. Wisdom, that comes only with age. I slip back onto my pillow with a sigh. Tomorrow I will write some more.

Drifting in and out of dreamland, knowing why and what I am; passing shadows in dreams I’ve lived, some are dark and well within life’s pages. Hidden memories, alive and sparkling, truths untold, mine to be bold. It’s not the depths of darkness that lingers in my mind, or from these fingers. Take each day as it comes: a little bit of sunshine and whilst you ponder your thoughts of life, remember well. For no one knows whom tolls the bell, or for whom the bell doth toll.

For, if tomorrow comes without me. The bell will toll for me. Remember I have lived my life as fully as it could possibly be. I have no regrets, but for the love I leave behind. So shed no more tears and one day I know we will be together once again.


Do you often reflect on your life? What are you thoughts on Violet’s reflection? Tell us below.

Violet Apted

My name is Violet and I have two daughters and one son who have given me five adorable grandchildren. I have been freelance writer and tutor at U3A creative writing for 8 years as well as Writing forum host on 50plus website for 10 years and am now retired. I enjoy writing, using the computer and music and my dream would be to take a world cruise, as I have a love of the sea and also to write a bestseller! I’ve travelled to Egypt, Asia, Europe, USA, the UK and Africa but am originally from Sussex and lived in Kent before I moved to Australia in 1976 where I live in Brisbane. I am a contributing author in the book ‘FORGETMEKNOTS FROM THE FRONT PORCH’ published in USA last year by Obadiah Press. I have completed my first novel, a Murder abduction story and it is now published. All my books are available on as well as FaceBook. My favourite writing would be Children’s stories and I have written many for my grandchildren. Two are now published!

  1. very lovely piece. As I get older I realise that death is getting closer so I enjoy the things I do & try to live each day positively.

  2. Beautifully written and touching piece Violet.

  3. Lovely but feels overly sad. I’ve been thinking of writing a letter the last few months, I’m only 62 but my family are not long lived. I should get on with it and do it. My letter will be more upbeat than this one, penning my gratitude for a life that, although never easy, was a good one.

  4. Yes as you age so many memories crowd your mind. I suppose it’s because the pace of life has slowed and the mind has more time to reflect, and there is so much to reflect on. Often a memory pops into my consciousness and I smile at the happy ones and tears spring to my eyes at the sad ones.

  5. When my children were born I wrote them a letter each. I am about to do another as the others are 24 and 21 years old. My kids are the best thing I have ever done in my life and I will put this in there new letters to them

  6. Beautiful piece Violet, thank yo. I’m trying to write down bits and pieces as I think of them; my nieces and nephew hardly knew my parents or grandparents. One day they may want to know about their forebears and if so they will have my jottings.

  7. I have written a letter to each of my loved ones to be read after i die.I have told each of them how special they are to me and how proue i am of them.These letters are with my will.

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