If I was my ex husband

If I was a man, I would never have acted the way you did during the time we were married. I would
Opinion

If I was a man, I would never have acted the way you did during the time we were married. I would never have made the choices you made because they were all so selfish with absolutely no consideration towards myself and the children. I would never have made promises to you unless I intended to keep them. I would never have disappeared for days at a time. I would never have argued and fought and made you feel worthless, I would never have threatened you with violence. I guess you never loved me

If I was a man, I would never have left you laying in bed unable to move screaming for help; I would not have walked out that door. The neighbours would not have to step in and help you. If I was a man you would not have been screaming, I would have been there beside you holding your hand waiting for the ambulance, I would have been there to help and support you through all your surgeries. I would have made sure the children felt secure and not have to worry that they were going to lose you. I would not have slept with your friends, I would never have done that to you, I would have stood by your side no matter what.

If I was a man, I would have taken the kids to their sports, I would have taught them how to fish, taught them how to play cricket, kicked a ball around the back yard with them, I would have helped them with their homework. I would have listened to them, they would have known they were loved by me, they would have been proud to call me Dad.

If I was a man, I would not have turned my back and walked away so many times to be in the arms of so many others, and I would certainly not have had the electricity cut off and left you and the kids in darkness. I don’t know why you did the things you did. I guess you never loved me.

If I was a man, I would not have stopped payments on the house, I would have made sure you and the kids had a home, I would never have hidden bank accounts from you. I would have made sure you and the kids were well cared for. I would have never have missed months of child support because I was on overseas holidays when I knew you were struggling. I guess you never loved me.

If I was a man, considering so many years have passed I would not say “I always loved you” because that is such a cowardly thing to say and we both know your actions said the opposite. Your actions did not make me feel loved, your actions made me feel fear, made me doubt myself, made me nervous, made me anxious – your actions made me doubt my sanity.

If I was a man, my life and the lives of our children would have been filled with love and laughter and adventure, but I am not a man, and neither are you!

Share your thoughts.       

Originally posted here

  1. Sharon Fuller  

    My heart is grieved reading this, because it is exact in detail of everything I endured.. I always thought marriage was to last a life time, and he was to be her King, and she, his Queen. Guess not. While a mate does not make a person whole (should be that before marriage), they do compliment each other. Today is supposed to be my 47th year anniversary, and surprisingly so, I am not sad. We were married December 23, 1969 and divorced December 23, 1996, I think GOD put his stamp of ‘dissapproval on this marriage in particular. Towards the end, it was like living with my brother and tracking his every move. He has since remarried, twice. I am still single. Lonely? Sometimes, but mostly not. I am not looking for the perfect mate, just one with compassion. “Your actions did not make me feel loved, your actions made me feel fear, made me doubt myself, made me nervous, made me anxious – your actions made me doubt my sanity.” I never felt less womanly and unwanted in all my life, then by this man who promised to love me always and forever. The only good that came out of it, were five children. I have come to the conclusion, even today on my lost anniversary, that I am worth loving, and I am quite capable of loving, that if there is someone out there somewhere who would not treat me as worthless. My prison term ended after 25 years. I never want to feel like that again, I would rather be alone. Lonely nights and all……

  2. Sharon Fuller  

    My heart is grieved reading this, because it is exact in detail of everything I endured.. I always thought marriage was to last a life time, and he was to be her King, and she, his Queen. Guess not. While a mate does not make a person whole (should be that before marriage), they do compliment each other. Today is supposed to be my 47th year anniversary, and surprisingly so, I am not sad. We were married December 23, 1969 and divorced December 23, 1996, I think GOD put his stamp of ‘dissapproval on this marriage in particular. Towards the end, it was like living with my brother and tracking his every move. He has since remarried, twice. I am still single. Lonely? Sometimes, but mostly not. I am not looking for the perfect mate, just one with compassion. “Your actions did not make me feel loved, your actions made me feel fear, made me doubt myself, made me nervous, made me anxious – your actions made me doubt my sanity.” I never felt less womanly and unwanted in all my life, then by this man who promised to love me always and forever. The only good that came out of it, were five children. I have come to the conclusion, even today on my lost anniversary, that I am worth loving, and I am quite capable of loving, that if there is someone out there somewhere who would not treat me as worthless. My prison term ended after 25 years. I never want to feel like that again, I would rather be alone. Lonely nights and all……

  3. Trish Daley

    Oh very much so, good for her it’s always best to write your feelings down to let your husband/wife know how you felt while married to them, as it definitely helps with the heeling process.

  4. Philomena Lear

    Yes. Writing is a great healing tool, it has helped me through all of my life’s difficulties, I started writing about my feelings when I was a very young child.

  5. Sue Fairbank

    If I wrote my feelings down regarding my ex it would be a book by the time I finished.😔

  6. Kerry Anne Drury

    We did our best xx I’m me and he’s himself expectations of others is what brings it all undone
    Gratitude and blessings in both of us growing each day …”Separately” after 40yrs ♡

  7. Allan  

    Isn’t this the second time this letter has been on here in the last year?

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