I am morphing into my mother! 27



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Her hands show all the signs of a long life, arthritic and wrinkled to the point of feeling like corrugated iron. She keeps them busy; they are rarely idle. Lately she has become 100 per cent addicted to colouring in and considering she has dementia, blind in one eye, arthritis and a brain tumour, her dogged determination makes every picture she completes quite amazing. I know I have inherited that determination.

When Mum was the age I am now she would constantly wear 3/4 pants from Millers and I would swear blind I was never going to wear them. My oh my how age changes us. Not only do I wear them frequently, I also have them in a delightful array of colours.

As a rule I don’t buy anything blue – it’s Mum’s favourite colour. She would have the grass dyed blue if she could! I would get sick to death of seeing everything blue and everything shade imaginable lives in her wardrobe. As I age I have noticed blue is slowly sneaking into my life and more often than not Mum will come out of her bedroom of a morning wearing the same colours that I already have on, and I am getting so very tired of opening my mouth and hearing my mother come out! Serenity now, I am morphing into my mother!

Recently we had to do a quick trip to the doctor with Mum, she had a swelling and a sore spot in her arm and it turned out to be a surface clot surrounded by inflamed vessels. It was swollen, inflamed and painful but the doctor could not prescribe anything because of her extreme allergies. We had to wait two weeks and if it was still there the doctor then weighs up the risks of surgery versus her 91-year-old body and a decision would have to be made whether to operate or not. Mum was not a happy camper when we left the surgery mainly because the doctor is a low talker and she is as deaf as a post.

With the doctor’s information on board we went to a cafe so I could repeat everything the doctor said over a soothing cappuccino, and we ended up having lunch. Mum took a fancy to a breadboard of different things, as much as I said you hate sun dried tomatoes and marinated fetta! Fact was she was just feeling very cranky about her arm and come hell or high water she was ordering the breadboard of delights. When it arrived mum tasted hers and said this tastes like – Mum behave – “No,” she said. “I am cranky. Grow old they said, it will be fun they said! Well here I am nearly 92 and I can’t see properly, I can’t hear properly, I can’t pee properly, I can’t walk properly, I can’t think properly and now I can’t move my arm properly! I can’t even remember that I don’t like eating sun dried freakin’ tomatoes ,and why did they give us this rubbish on a breadboard? When is old age going to start being fun?!” 

Tell us: are you scared you’re turning into your mother?

Christine Massey

I am a 61-year-old dysfunctional child of a problem mother. I tend to look at the world with the philosophy "Laugh hard, you could be dead tomorrow!"

  1. I think it happens to everyone as i age i see more of my mother and its nice because shes no longer here godbless her

  2. No. I don’t ever want to be my mother. She could be very selfish and at times quite vicious. If I get like that then please put me down…

    3 REPLY
    • That first time I walked past a mirror and glimpsed my mother looking at me, I still shudder. I’m with you Ruth, my mother was a very unhappy woman in every way, I really hope I don’t turn into her. Funny, I am only a year younger than she was when she died, have been thinking about that a lot lately. We were never close.

  3. Hope not, Mum wasn’t the greatest, I am more likely to wear the same clothes as my sister, we’re closer.

  4. I become aware of my morphing many years ago, when I suddenly realised I was wearing the same sensible shoes as my mother! Mum and I were always very good friends – if I was even half the beautiful soul she was I would be happy. I still miss her.

    1 REPLY
  5. Yes I see some manorisms same as my mum. I look like her. She has passed and my sister and I always say we will pull one another up if we take up some of her not so good personality traits.

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  6. We are but little sponges as kids and we mimic our mums, I see it with my granddaughters especially, talking the same way, mannerisms likes and dislikes etc as you get older you establish and develop your own twist to the equation, I think my sister and me developed a similar style and love of books and sense of humour, the arts and music. And Dad I hope I have his love of man and his deep respect of animals. I have similar health problems.

    2 REPLY
    • My daughter heard her 18 month daughter, telling the dog to get into the basket, she said to me mum she sounded just like me and it’s scary. 😀🌺

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