These parents are admitting something surprising about their children 8



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Having children is an amazing gift and brings so much joy to our lives, no one can argue with that, but have you ever regretted having children?

Some disheartened parents have confessed their feelings online, admitting they often wish they’d never had kids. While it’s definitely hard work and full of ups and downs, we assume most people are so grateful for their children they wouldn’t change a thing. It came as a surprise then to some parents to find out they weren’t alone when it came to feelings of regret.

One dad, who chose to remain anonymous, explained how he was afraid of being labelled a bad parent due to his feelings about his 9-year-old son.

“To be honest, there are times when I just stand there and want to bang my head against the door frame, I just loathe being a parent so much,” he wrote on the website.

“What’s odd about this predicament is that no one, least of all other parents, has much sympathy for you.”

“I do love him,” he wrote.

“I just wish that someone else would be actually enjoying the process of raising him, since …  my own life is just markedly less enjoyable since he came along. That’s simple honesty.

One mum said she regretted having her son because she was too young and selfish at the time.

“I do regret the fact that I have done such a lousy job parenting him – he deserved more than I was able to give him,” she wrote.

“I regret having children because I wasn’t ready (23) , and because I’m much too selfish to really care about someone’s feelings other than my own.

“I regret having a child because it’s a really, really big job that I wasn’t able to handle.”

With so many different opinions about parenting out there it makes us wonder just how many people regret having children. Is this something we need to spend more time talking about, and how many parents feel like this without telling anyone?

Have you ever regretted having children? Do you know anyone who feels this way?



Starts at 60 Writers

The Starts at 60 writers team seek out interesting topics and write them especially for you.

  1. Sorry no matter how hard it was at times I don’t and would never regret having my 3 wonderful children. ‘I wasn’t ready’ or ‘life became less enjoyable when I had him’. Oh please. Give me a break.

  2. Never for one minute did I wish I wasn’t a parent, I was a mother at 19 and some days where harder than others. I’m so glad it’s how I felt because when one of my 5 children died as a baby in her bed I didn’t feel any guilt !

  3. Just bloody lovely! Fancy stating you wish you hadn’t been a parent.
    I wish there was some punishment for being a cruel one.
    It is hard but also joyous.

  4. I had 4 girls by the time I was 25 times were tough but never have I ever regretted having them they are now and now the joy of 13 grand kids

  5. I feel sorry for the poor children. Children are very quick to pick on their parents emotions. I wonder how they feel knowing they are not wanted and how this will affect their ability to have healthy relationships? I have seen this in my own family. My brother was not wanted by my mother because he was a boy. My brother knew it and it has ruined his life. He went looking for love in all the wrong places. These parents need to get a grip and realise that this is not about them now, it is about their children.

  6. I had difficulty coming to terms with parenthood with my first child. I had absolutely no experience of children, he was difficult, my marriage was disintegrating, I had post natal depression and it seemed a hard and unfair road. I remarried and had two more children and apart from some post natal depression after my third child I never regretted having any of them again. I love my three sons dearly.

  7. Aren’t these mainly relatively recent parents so it doesn’t surprise me. We have somehow created a generation of selfish, me-centred people who think everything should be easy.

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