“What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.” ― Aristotle.
Since the beginning of sharing our experiences and adventures with others we have formed friendships and bonds that can last a life-time and reach into the depths of our soul. We can feel a connection that transcends time, distance and the trials of life’s adventures. We can become soul-mates in a non-romantic way, just as precious, and sometimes longer lasting than romantic attachments.
Soul brothers and sisters are the family you would choose for your self.
We may not see our friend for decades, but the conversation takes up as if it was yesterday. The ease of moving across memories and subjects mean we can even create our own language of understanding, a shorthand that never needs explaining. A shared look, a word, a touch or gesture is held safe in the vault of our seemingly eternal connection and ongoing conversation.
While we all might dream, and some may be fortunate to find a soul mate in their romantic relationships, some platonic friendships can outlast and outweigh romantic relationships.
Some might say thank goodness, who else would know exactly how to pick us up and put us back together? On the other hand, sometimes a platonic friendship can turn into the romance of a life-time, to the shock of one or both involved. This change of feeling is what can cause angst or jealousy between partners if they don’t quite understand the depth of the relationship with the friend. Respect, trust and boundaries come into play.
Relationship counsellor Dr. Jeremy Nicholson, says that the attraction and desiring elements and pressures in romantic relationships are absent in platonic friendships. The absence of having to impress and express desire makes friendship easier to navigate and deep attachments of acceptance can be made. We’re never as hard on our friends as we are on our partners.
Jealousies about friendships can affect relationships, and jealousies can even form between ‘besties’ if they don’t understand and accept that each relationship is its own special gift. Each friendship makes us a better person, they hone us to giving and receiving in gratitude and generosity, and likely each one is unique.
What is great with one friend may not be so fun with another. Our universe is made up of a galaxy of influencers and our friends are our shining stars. A true soul mate though is one who will love you whenever, however, and whoever you turn up as in this moment.
They will laugh with you, cry with you, or even laugh while you cry, or cry while you laugh, knowing that somehow you will get through this. There is no greater gift than the unsaid compliment that in my eyes, you are enough.
They don’t mind your tears, and they love your laugh.
They don’t worry about you, they believe in you.
They don’t need to fix you, but they’re happy to help you.
They give you the courage to be fully and faithfully you.
It doesn’t matter what time it is, how long since you’ve seen or heard from them, how far you are away from them, and no matter the idea or request, the answer is always Yes.
They are the ones that will remind you that together, one day, you will both have a laugh about this.
If we’re fortunate we may have a whole group of soulmates, of all shapes, ages and sizes, that come in and out of our lives.
The childhood friend who moved away but never out of your heart.
The work colleague who outshone and outlasted the job.
The boyfriend/girlfriend who turned out to be a much better friend than romantic partner and has been there ever since.
Family members that seem to be your gift from the universe.
They’re the people we find that make life an adventure, even if we don’t know where we’re going.
Like two of the soulmates of Christopher Robin discovered. “We’ll be friends forever, won’t we, Pooh?” asked Piglet. “Even longer,” Pooh answered. – A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh
Who have been your soulmates?