Someone once told me it gets easier as your kids get older, but I wouldn’t say that’s exactly true…
I have two wonderful girls, who at 32 and 28, are well and truly grown up now and living their lives independently.
Both my girls left home when they were 20 to travel the world and find adventure and they eventually ended up settling in different cities in Australia, while I stayed here in Adelaide.
My youngest is in Perth now, while my oldest has made a home in Brisbane and although I am so happy they have their own lives, I miss them more than I ever thought possible and am agonising over whether or not I should move to be closer to them.
My husband and I divorced years ago so it’s just me at home now. I have a busy work and social life and love my local community, but it feels like there’s a big hole in my life where my girls should be.
I’ve discussed the idea of moving closer to them and they both love the idea, but say they worry about me leaving everything behind. The truth is I worry about that too…
It would be amazing to live closer to them, but will I just be filling one hole and creating another? Over the years I’ve formed wonderful friendships with my colleagues and have worked really hard to cement my place at my school where I’ve been a teacher for 20 years.
I’m scared that I’ll leave it all behind and move to a new city where the only people I know are my girls — not to mention the fact that I’ll have to choose between moving to one city and not the other.
A big driver behind this whole idea is the fact that both of them are settled in long-term relationships and are starting to think about marriage and children.
I want to be closer to my grandchildren and be around to help my girls raise them. Isn’t that what most parents dream about?
I’ve heard horror stories before about people who packed up everything to move closer to their children only to find that they didn’t get to spend much time with them at all and ended up more lonely than ever.
Their kids were so busy with their own lives and trying to manage work, raising kids and having their own social life that they only ended up seeing each other once every couple of weeks.
While I know my girls would make sure we spent time together, I’m also conscious of the fact they need to be able to do the things they’ve always enjoyed and not feel obliged to spend time with me.
On the other hand, I’m wondering if I should just try to make the most of it as it is and resign myself flying to visit them a few times a year.
Right now, I’m just not happy and feel like I’m living in limbo.
If anyone out there as any advice or has been in a similar situation, I’d love to hear it.
I know I need to make a change, I just don’t know what that change is yet.