I feel like I’m too old to fall in love again 7



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When I lost my husband in my late 60s I wasn’t sure if I could ever fall in love again, because I was so heart broken about it.

Before he died he told me he wanted me to move on.

I had his blessing, but it just felt so wrong and I felt so sad about it.

After 40 years of marriage, I faced the prospect of trying to find that again with someone else.

I wasn’t interested in a life without him.

When he passed, I waited a few years before I finally had enough of being lonely.

My kids tried encouraging me to date again. They suggested I try online dating or social meet-up groups.

I was apprehensive going in. I mean, isn’t dating something you do when you’re younger?

My husband would take me out to the movies or we’d have milkshakes or go the to theatre. But we were young then and free spirited.

What do you do when you’re 68 and trying to date?

Most men my age are looking for younger women, which left me with men up to 10 years older.

So after some trying I went on a date.

But I wasn’t nervous. I wasn’t excited. I had no feelings at all… I was so blank throughout the whole date. There was just no connection – nothing at all.

I tried again. And again. And again, and each time I felt nothing.

It definitely wasn’t first date blues or a reluctance to go on a date, it was just something missing.

And then I put my finger on it.

What if it wasn’t working because I was too old?

I mean sex wasn’t even something I’d thought of and there was hardly anything exciting about the dates – especially those with men well into their 70s.

Dating seems to be a bit of a taboo subject when you’re older. Society seems to have this idea that when you hit a certain age, if you’re not married or you’re divorced/widowed, then dating and romance aren’t supposed to be on your mind.

I would love someone for company or another shot at the love I lost.

Sadly, it doesn’t look it’s meant to be.

Loneliness is so crushing when you’re older. You have your family and a few friends, but there’s something lifting about being in love. About the romance of your younger years, receiving flowers, going out to dinner or the movies and long nights of hugs and company.

I never thought I’d be in this situation. Maybe I’m  better off on my own and remembering the love that I lost and holding it as close to my heart as possible until my late husband and I are reunited.


What do you think? Is there a certain age where you’re just too old to fall in love again?

Starts at 60 Writers

The Starts at 60 writers team seek out interesting topics and write them especially for you.

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  2. I don’t think you are ever too old to fall in love, but finding that right person as you get older is so much more difficult.
    I relate to this story 100%. Having lost my husband of 52 years I tried all the usual things like online dating sites, joining groups and generally being out and about, but to no avail. I do not want to be someone’s nursemaid or housemaid. I want to be loved for being me, and someone to be my best friend and confidante.
    I have family to keep an eye on me but that is not quite enough after knowing what it is like to be the centre of another person’s life and loved unconditionally.
    God willing I might find that again, but a caring, considerate best friend would do nicely thank you.

  3. After my husband’s death I was content to be single for the rest of my life, not ‘looking for love’.
    I chatted to a man on an Australian social website (since shut down). He was in the same boat, single and not looking.
    We have now been together for 7 years and couldn’t be happier. He is 61, me 67. Ages don’t matter. Never too old to love! 🙂

  4. Upside-down world

    Earth is up
    Sky is down
    Solid ground
    Nowhere to be found—
    I grieve for my beloved
    This world forever changed

    Though endless moments
    Trickle into months
    And then years
    Never will this Love
    By time or life
    Be erased

    Though I ache…
    To hear your voice
    See your smile
    Feel your embrace
    E’er you are with me
    Etched within my heart

    Kristin Gillespie© May 2014

  5. Never to old for falling in love again or for companionship.
    Don’t think you will ever get over the love of your life but you have the need of someone to share and care for each other so go for it and enjoy it
    Especially if you and your husband has given his consent before he passed away

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