We have a saying in my family, and it goes something like this…
“Fish and family members go off after three days, so make sure you use them up quickly”
My brother heeded this when he came for a visit recently, popping in for just a three-day visit from America for a family wedding.
He and his wife came, hung out, shared some amazing times and left with us all still loving each other, no conflict in sight. Tears of missing each other welled in our eyes as we said goodbye after such a short time together, but we know it is for the best.
In contrast, when mum went over to visit their family in America last year, she stayed for three weeks, and with all the goodwill in the world, both sides of the family will admit that three weeks was way too long a time for one family member to “hang around” seeking to be entertained without a break. They ended up in conflict, with my mum leaving in a hurry after a number of fairly large disputes about not very big issues. Fact is, she simply stayed too long in one place in a family that is used to being very independent. Her fish and their fish went off…
My father and his family also live by the rule. When Dad goes to the US, he programs his visits to stay near to family but not on top of them, and “moves around” every third day, making his own tour, travel and entertainment plans so no one has the time to get fed up with each other.
Has the idea of staying only long enough to tempt people with your presence, but not overstay your welcome ever surfaced in your family?
It has become such a well-learned experience in our family that I have compiled five tips for considering how long you should stay or invite someone to stay.
Tell us today… do family members and fish go off after three days in your family?