The polite way to call someone a bastard! 26



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A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him. The first said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome. They were even after the first few holes. The second guy said, “We’re about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?”

The first guy said that he wasn’t much for betting, but agreed to the terms. 

The second guy won the remaining 16 holes with ease.

As they were walking off the 18th hole, the second guy was busy counting his $80. He confessed that he was the pro at a neighbouring course and liked to pick on suckers. 

The first fellow revealed that he was a Parish Priest. The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money.

The Priest said, “You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings”.

The pro said, “Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”

The Priest said, “Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation……and, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I’ll marry them”.

Thanks Brian for sending this in! If you want to read some other great jokes, click here. Or to submit one of your own to share with the Starts at 60 community, click here.

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  1. Two guys playing golf when a funeral drove guy doffed his hat and bowed his head.his playing partner said he was surprised.first one said least I could do .we were married for forty years

    1 REPLY
  2. This is worth reading & a chuckle, tells you how to call someone a bxxxxxard without saying it.

  3. Yes I can see the joke but, because so many children are born to and happily live their young lives with unmarried parents, it’s time to lose the “bastard” stigma.

    1 REPLY
    • Thank you. I am married, but totally agree. This stigma is so out of date, it is offensive. Not a funny joke at all.

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