The one-armed man 14



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A man lost an arm when his golf cart rolled over on him on a down slope. He became very depressed because he loved to play golf. One day in his despair, he decided to commit suicide and end it all.
He got on an elevator and went to the top of the building to jump off.
He was standing on the ledge looking down when he saw a man way down below on the sidewalk skipping along, whooping and kicking up his heels. He looked more closely and saw that this man didn’t have any arms at all.
He started thinking, “What am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself? I still have one good arm to do things with”.
He thought, “There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk so happy, and getting on with his life”.
He hurried down to the sidewalk and caught up with this man and told him how glad he was to see him because, since he had lost one of his arms, hefelt useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him for saving his life and said he knew he could make it with one arm if the guy could go on with no arms.
The man with no arms began dancing and whooping and kicking up his heels again.
The one-armed man asked, “Why are you so happy anyway?”
The man with no arms said, “I’m NOT happy. My balls itch”.
Heart-warming stories like this just bring a tear to my eyes..  

Thank you to Russell for sending this in. If you want to read some other great jokes, click here. Or to submit one of your own to share with the Starts at 60 community, click here.

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  1. A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was
    sitting in their pews and talking.

    Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.

    Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling
    each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

    Soon the church was empty except for one elderly cowboy who sat calmly
    in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God’s
    ultimate enemy was in his presence..

    So Satan walked up to the man and said, ‘Do you know who I am?’

    The old cowboy replied, ‘Yep, sure do.’

    ‘Aren’t you afraid of me?’ Satan asked.

    ‘Nope, sure ain’t.’ said the cowboy.

    ‘Don’t you realize I can kill you with one word?’ asked Satan.

    ‘Don’t doubt it for a minute,’ returned the old man, in an even tone.

    ‘Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all
    eternity?’ persisted Satan.

    ‘Yep,’ was the calm reply.

    ‘And you are still not afraid?’ asked Satan.

    ‘Nope,’ said the old cowboy.

    More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, ‘Why aren’t you afraid of

    The old cowboy calmly replied,

    ‘Been married to your sister for 48 years. ‘

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