The old dog 6



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Two elderly Irishmen, Paddy and Mick, were in a bar enjoying a drink.

An old retriever dog was in the corner of the bar licking his nether area.

Paddy turned to Mick and said. “You see that old dog Mick? I would love to be able to do that”.

Mick had a sip of his drink and replied to Paddy.

“Well Paddy if you pat him nicely, he might let you”.

Thanks to Rod for sending this in. If you want to read some other great jokes, click here. Or to submit one of your own to share with the Starts at 60 community, click here.

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  1. Age does not change the fact that a good joke is a good joke.
    After having their fill, Paddy and Mick started walking home. As they walked by the Catholic Church, Mick noticed that the church light was on.
    In his thickest Irish brogue,
    Mick said,” Oh, I see father Gerrard is on duty, I’ll go in and have him hear my confession.”
    “Yes, my son?”
    “Bless me father for I have sinned.”
    “Last week, I committed adultery.”
    “Again? Was it with Mary O’Rouke?”
    “Was it with Shiela McDermott ?”
    “Was it with Maeve Loughnan?”
    “No, it was not.”
    Father looked at his watch,
    saw that if he wasted any more time, his dinner would get cold,
    told Mick not to
    do it again, (probably to help Mick not contract Glaucoma!), and gave him his penance.
    Paddy, who had been waiting patiently, asked Mick how he had fared.
    Mick rubbed his chin, smiled wryly, and said:
    “Oh, OK. I got 10 Hail Marys, 10 Our Fathers, 10 Glory Bees.
    And I also got 3 new names!”

  2. Hi Startsatsixty members. In advance of coming to your wonderful country from Ireland on a 12-month visitor visa last month, I signed up for membership of your forum as a means to get a better understanding of how life works here for 60 pluses like myself. I have found the daily bulletins to be largely informative and helpful, with the one exception of the Irish ‘jokes’ that seem to be gaining frequency in recent weeks, with two today alone. These ‘jokes’ could be directed to any race or regional population, but are in the main directed to my countrymen. These Irish and Polish and Hillbilly jokes have largely vanished in the Northern Hemisphere, but for some reason have resolutely persisted here. Maybe it is not PC to cite such ‘jokes’ against regional provinces or Aboriginal or nearby countries such as New Zealand or Indonesia, but it is ok to to scapegoat the Irish. I am really enjoying my visit to your wonderful country, and find everyone warm and friendly, but the one blot is the ‘jokes’ I refer to above. Maybe the editorial team might ensure balance and equality by publishing ‘jokes’ that show equal treatment of all races.

    2 REPLY
    • Water off a duck’s back Declan. I don’t know if my ancestors had the problem when they arrived 175 years ago but unless someone like you sees this as a problem, the enormous number of Irish descendants like me living here just don’t notice. They are just meaningless words. Something used to carry a corny joke. Enjoy your stay here. Most people will be fascinated by the Irish lilt in your speech.

  3. An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned
    to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike
    up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”

    The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total
    stranger, “What would you want to talk about?”

    “Oh, I don’t know,” said the atheist. “How about why there is no God,
    or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?” as he smiled smugly.

    “Okay,” she said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask
    you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same
    stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns
    out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?”

    The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence,
    thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.” To which
    the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss
    God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don’t know shit?”

    And then she went back to reading her book.

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