Once upon a time, retirement was something to look forward to, when people who may have worked all their lives finally had permission to do what they wanted to and be what they wanted to be. They were entitled to the pension and exploring all those previously shelved hobbies and interests was exciting.
But, we are far from those days. We know that some, especially men, can struggle with retirement. Mental health outcomes for the retired are mixed, with some experiencing a need for significant post retirement adjustments. If you have had no fixed plan and no hobbies or activities in place, then it can feel like falling off a cliff into an abyss. Friends and family will say “are you having a great time?” or “wish that were me!”, when the retiree themselves could really be struggling without a sense of purpose or shape to each day.
Indeed, as a society we are still in transition in our attitudes to work for older Australians. On one hand there’s debate about older people leaving room for the young in the workforce; on the other, valuing the experience that being senior in one’s career can bring. Some want to keep working post the pension or superannuation accessing age of 65, and the numbers are increasing – 17 per cent of men and 10 per cent of women do so.
Retirement is most successful and pleasurable when there’s a choice about it, when you have had time to prepare financially and socially, you have a plan in place, good relationships to fall back on, and often a phased approach to the final working days.
Fast forward to 2020 with the outbreak of Covid-19. We’re approaching double digit unemployment figures for the first time in many years and amongst those are particular cohorts with unique challenges. For the young, there’s the prolonged difficulty in getting their first job and getting launched into independence. Then for those at the other end of their working life there’s those who have lost their jobs, or their jobs are on-hold – there are real fears and real facts about forced retirement.
Unfortunately, emerging from a year of not working when you are 65-plus really might mean an increased chance of never working again. When the economy rights itself, ageism will have to be retackled in a context of employers being potentially spoilt for choice. Understandably, some are very fearful their work life is over and they are unprepared both emotionally and financially. The picture of how those later years might play out has been hijacked and that important positive gateway to successful retirement – choice – has been taken away.
It’s very hard to enjoy the “filling-in-time” Covid-19 activities – such as cleaning out the garage, extra babysitting, finishing old projects – when there’s no end in sight. The worries about “what if this is it?” can start to intrude. It may not be a break; this might be the reality of life ahead from now on.
Some might start to say things like “well it’s time you retired anyway” or “lucky you, you get an early mark, go and enjoy yourself!” This is well meaning but may be far from what you feel inside. In a society driven by one’s identity and value being tied up in economic participation, there’s a process of redefining life’s meaning and purpose and one’s own value. Resentment and grief might need to be processed before these bigger questions can be addressed; others’ platitudes about the silver lining of job loss isn’t going to help with that.
So, what might you do to process the fears?
Retirement is a key life milestone and means many different things to different people. It’s not one size fits all and it’s normal to have mixed feelings about it. It can also be a challenging time for relationships, as you might have different views on how to spend time, whether more together or more involved in separate interests.
It may be that relationship issues were put on hold while you were busy working and often out of the house and apart and they suddenly seem to loom very large. It may also be that you have insufficient support at this time and feel very alone. Getting some assistance to navigate your way through could be important.
You can call Relationships Australia NSW on 1300 364 277 for assistance.
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