‘We’ll get together’ we said, but one day, time ran out

Remember the Benjamin Franklin saying: “Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today”? It was the oft used response from my parents when I said I would do something “later”.

Sadly I learned recently the truth of this old saying when I attended the funeral of a cousin, someone near and dear to me. It was years since we had seen each other. We weren’t estranged, we were only separated by distance and, perhaps, our different interests. Yet deep down we shared a familial love and affection for each other.
I have relatives all over the globe. My generation, however, has mainly stayed in Australia, albeit spread over four states. For some time, particularly since our parents died and we became the grown-ups, we’ve talked about organising a cousins reunion. Unfortunately, this reunion remained only talkyet, even at the funeral, we said, “we must get together”.

I remember many years ago when the world was young and I knew everything about everything, I bemoaned the fact that the only time we saw some members of our extended family when one of the older generations died. Never did I entertain even a fleeting thought that one day my words would come back to mock me.

There are times when our actions and good intentions do not meet up – we really did mean to get together, but there never seemed a good time – “I’m really busy at work”, “Mary is going away next month”, “Fred is travelling for work”, “Annie babysits her grandchildren, Barbie hasn’t been well, Carol volunteers 3 days a week”. These excuses are valid   … but with 20/20 hindsight, should we have tried harder?

It’s a shame that my cousin’s funeral was the reunion we talked about and as with any such occasion, there were many “I can’t believe “ moments. For example, the day my mother was buried, one of the rellies had to leave when she received a phone call that her daughter in law was in labour. I really cannot believe that the young man who spoke passionately about his grandfather, my cousin, was that babe, now the father of two!

My cousin was a kind and generous man; his doors were always open; family and friends always welcome. At his funeral were two men who. although not related by blood, have always been a part of our family. I can’t remember a wedding, major birthday or family get together when they weren’t guests. Little wonder – the friendship these men shared has survived nearly 8 decades!

So what has this blog to do with books? Other than the fact that my siblings and many of our cousins are avid readers, absolutely nothing.

There are times, however, when it is good to remember that as much joy as books give, as much as we learn about the world and ourselves within their covers, nothing replaces a warm hug and the love of and shared memories of those who knew your parents, grandparents and great-grandparents.

As healthy and lively as we baby boomers are, we don’t have the luxury of putting things off until tomorrow. So, it’s out with the contact list and time for an email to the “elders” in our family to organise a reunion, whilst there is only one of us present only in spirit.

Can you relate to what Karen is saying? Is it time for your family to have a reunion?