Many women’s sex lives can suffer following the menopause and some find it even becomes uncomfortable in their later years, but one woman has revealed that her reduced sexual desires almost led to the complete breakdown of her 45-year marriage.
Writing an open letter to the Guardian newspaper, the 73-year-old woman explained her libido dropped dramatically after suffering a “painful” few years as she went through menopause, leaving her avoiding sexual activity with her husband entirely.
Sadly, she later discovered he was having an affair with someone he met on the Internet and, despite insisting he would end things after six months, it continued for two years before she found out the level of his deception.
“My husband is very highly sexed and demanding, but any discussion about our sex life has always ended in a row,” she wrote.
Explaining the first clues she had that her husband was still cheating two years on, the worried woman added: “During those two years he was distant, disengaged from the family, and always made a beeline for attractive women when we were out.
“I wanted a separation but never had the courage to leave, and there was a part of me that hoped we would find a way back to a better relationship. However, things became so toxic that I asked for a divorce.”
Her threat of divorce turned out to be the motivation her husband needed to try again, and they tried marriage counselling together – eventually leading to the woman undergoing hormone replacement therapy (HRT). The effect it has had has been incredible.
“It’s proved to be the best thing that has happened to us,” she said. “I started on a course of HRT, which has given me a new-found joy of sex and I am enthusiastically making up for those lost years.
“We are slowly rebuilding our marriage and we are finally emotionally open and honest; although it may be difficult to believe, neither of us had stopped loving the other.”
The open letter got a mixed response from the news outlet’s other readers, with one commenting: “Good for you, hope it continues to be fun for both of you,” while another added: “I also take HRT. It makes a vast difference. It is also good for your bones. Even with my good health insurance, it costs as much as a car payment but it is worth it. I am 72 and my husband and I have a full, loving relationship.”
However, others weren’t so supportive, branding the husband a “nightmare” with another reader adding: “I find this bothersome. The husband seems to be dishonest, to treat women as a service to meet his desires, his promises meaningless.
“An expectation this is all going to work out well seems naive. There are deeper issues here, which may well be being addressed in the counselling. I hope so. This is about so much more than sexual compatibility.”
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