Sex doesn’t stop at 60

What is the number one thing most boomers are looking forward to after retirement? Travelling and spending time with grand-children feature high on the list for most. But what the majority are really looking forward to is sex. And lots of it.

When I was completing my Masters degree, I interviewed many people over 60 and asked them what they were most looking forward to after retirement. It was a very revealing process.

As you well know, the older generation of today has a much more youthful attitude to life, look younger and are usually much healthier than those of 30 years ago. And sex doesn’t have a use-by date. Just because you’ve now got a Seniors card doesn’t mean you stop living and loving.

At 60, many are still in the workforce, have children living at home and are leading a hectic lifestyle. Even if your kids have moved away and you’ve stopped working, 60 is a “magic number” that probably doesn’t impact that much on your day-to day-life.  And that includes the bedroom.

Of course, physiological changes do mean that sex is probably different to what it used to be. Menopause doesn’t kill desire, but it can mean that women need a little more foreplay to get in the mood; extra lubrication (with products like Sylk or KY Jelly) can make sex more comfortable and helps with vaginal dryness. For men, the wonder of Viagra can assist with performance problems of erectile dysfunction and restore confidence and well-being.

If your arthritis is playing up and your knees and hips feel stiff, a hot shower before sex loosens up the muscles helping you get ready for action! Sex in your 60s, as the writer and filmmaker Nora Ephron famously remarked, is not like sex in your 20s. Nor does it have to be.

There’s always the chance that in your 60s you will meet someone new, who could turn out to be the love of your life. If that’s the case, don’t forget to practice safe sex: research conducted by Family Planning NSW last year showed that sexually transmitted diseases like Chlamydia have doubled since 2005 amongst the over 50s and 60s. Older Australians are not part of the “condom generation” and so the safe sex message hasn’t been as targeted to them as it has to Gen. X and Y – but it still pays to be prepared!

A recent survey in The Huffington Post examined sexual behavior amongst the over 60s and concluded that if the heat needed turning up, couples should make regular time for sex so it doesn’t disappear from their lives. The article advocated having sex when your energy levels were high and even playing around with sex toys to spice up physical contact. But above all, couples who kissed a lot, even if didn’t lead to sex, and who laughed together, had the best chance of keeping their sex lives active, because sex is as much in the mind as of the body.

It’s important to make sure you’re healthy and that your relationship is in a good space. Yes, there is a growing divorce rate amongst older Australians. Sometimes couples grow apart after the nurturing years of looking after family have eased. If you feel that’s happening, taking the time to talk things over with your partner or counseling can help. Entering your 60s is a new life journey and if you can smooth out the bumps in the road, it’s an exciting one to embark on together.

photo credit: x-ray delta one via photopin cc