It’s never easy getting over being cheated on, but imagine how hard it would be after years of marriage. That’s the case for one woman who recently found out her husband of 23 years is cheating on her with a 19-year-old girl.
The woman, who wrote under the name “Heartbroken at 63”, reached out to The Washington Post‘s ‘Ask Amy’ advice column, revealing her husband, who’s 13 years her senior, has shown no remorse since she found out.
“My husband and I are both seniors,” she began. “He works full time, and I work part time. We have been married for over 25 years.
“He recently told me that he is involved in a relationship with a 19-year-old girl. When I pressed him for details, he said that they communicate several times a day and have been in touch every day for the past two years.
“I am devastated and repulsed by what he told me in his very calm but smug way. The more I cried, the more sadistic he became. I kept asking why.”
The woman went on to say he eventually told her that he wanted someone younger. “I am 13 years younger than he is,” she said. “He insists that there was no physical intimacy, and he was only trying to help her.
“What do you think? Is he just trying to hurt me or maybe throw me off? Now there is an ugly divorce ahead. Should I just resign myself to take a divorce settlement as offered, or fight for everything I can get?”
Amy responded to the letter saying she completely understands the situation is both shocking and heartbreaking, however she urged the woman to “look on this with a benefit of hindsight”.
“One year from now, your husband will be yet another old fool who has met the online girl of his dreams — only to be taken to the cleaners, either emotionally and/or financially — and probably, both,” she said.
Amy went on to say it’s best she works fast, but suggested she avoids engaging in a protracted, nasty and expensive court battle.
“But I do suggest that you find a competent and assertive lawyer who will do some forensic accounting and dig into your marital finances as quickly as possible, and begin the process of verifying and dividing them — before your husband has had the chance to hide, spend or waste joint assets on this new relationship,” she said.
“Yes, I think your husband is trying to hurt you and throw you off, and if he is not actively trying to hurt you, then — at the very least — he is not attending to your anguish.”