‘Grey divorces’ on the rise, as Boomers bow out in search of happiness

Facing a sudden end to a long-term marriage or relationship can feel daunting and impossible. For many, getting divorced in later life can be scary — especially for those who find it difficult to be alone or rely financially on their spouses. However, these so-called ‘grey divorces’ are a growing trend, Lucy Carne writes in The Courier Mail .

In fact, the journalist says she’s received a flurry of messages from women — and men — since writing an article about rugby league legend Wally Lewis separation from his wife of 36 years, who Carne said “paid the price for supporting her husband”.

“‘I thought we were in it for the long haul; It’s lonely and the disappointment never leaves you; How can you trust again?’ That was the recurring message in dozens of emails I received last week from women – and men – who, just like Wally and Jackie Lewis, faced separation or divorce after decades of seemingly happy unity,” Carne wrote.

“Others told of the shock at suddenly finding themselves single and on the pension after assuming they would be together forever.”

According to ABS data divorcing later in life is on the rise in Australia. The median divorce age is now 45.9 years for males (compared to 40.9 years in 1999), and 43.1 years for females (compared to 38.2 years in 1999). And it seems older men are more likely to walk out on a marriage — 6.6 males per 1,000 aged 55 to 59 were granted a divorce in 2019 compared to 4.9 women of the same age.

It comes after family law specialist Jennifer Hetherington told Starts at 60 the trend – which she accredits to couples questioning the longevity of their relationship once their children have grown up and flown the nest – is causing financial hardship for female Baby Boomers at a time when they may be expecting to enjoy retirement.

She said: “With grey divorces you have this unusual transition where a couple change from having a joint objective for their finances and assets to effectively two individuals trying to carve up a lifetime’s accumulation of assets and make a fresh start.

“Unfortunately research has shown that grey divorce can take a particularly serious financial toll on older women. At an age where they may be expecting to coast to retirement, sometimes unexpected factors lead to divorce. These can include longer life expectancy, the popularity of remarriage, more financial autonomy for women and changing views of marriage.”

One Starts at 60 community member previously opened up about her personal struggles in this area in a deeply personal blog published in July last year. “Single, female and over 60,” the guest contributor wrote. “That’s me and thousands like me in Australia. What’s sad is 34 per cent of single females over 60 years of age in this country live below the poverty line.

“Most of these women are widowed or divorced. Mine is the latter. We are part of the so-called Baby Boomers, although personally I’m not fond of that phrase. If a woman is widowed and from this age group, chances are she didn’t work outside the home and had no way of earning and saving or accumulating superannuation. If a woman is divorced, she too more than likely was a homemaker and perhaps only worked full time once divorced.”