Older drivers debate: When long or tricky journeys become ‘too much’

We’ve all felt exhausted at some time or another after a long drive or having negotiated particularly trying traffic, but what if the feeling starts appearing more often? Is there a point where a driver must just accept that trickier journeys are just ‘too much’, or does doing so effectively spell the end of one’s independence? 

That’s the interesting question one grandparent has put to others on the popular online forum gransnet.com. It was a discussion free of the tension over the dangers or otherwise posed by elderly drivers versus inexperienced drivers, or even of the issue of age-related physical impairments that may hinder driving, and more about a driver’s own feeling that at some point, they just don’t want to undertake lengthy or difficult drives any more.

A gransnet user called MawBroon wrote that she’d always been confident when undertaking drives of several hours or more, but had driven for 90 minutes on the day she wrote and the combination of heavy traffic, several long highway stretches and the unusual heat in the UK at present had left her feeling “totally wiped out”.

“I supposed it is an age thing,” MawBroon wrote. “I must resist the temptation to think a longish journey is ‘too much’ if I am to retain my independence and not feel like a feeble old woman.” In additional comments, MawBroon revealed that her husband was no longer alive so she couldn’t rely on him to drive her places, and said that while buses were useful for shorter, city journeys, they weren’t practical for long distances.

She wanted to know how far other gransnet users were happy to drive alone.

The responses were interesting, with many older drivers acknowledging that they had become aware of tiring more on long drives or of feeling less confident of their skills behind the wheel in particularly heavy traffic. But most were in agreement that retaining the confidence to drive was key, and that sensibly acknowledging the increasing tiredness by taking numerous breaks was essential.

“I used to drive all over – probably 150 miles was my furthest but over the last few years I’ve lost all confidence and my husband does all the driving when we go out especially to our sons a couple of hours away,” a user called Willow500 admitted. Another, called NanKate, agreed, saying “At least I am not alone in losing my confidence in driving. I pootle around locally in the car but avoid if I can longer journeys”.

A user called ffinnochio said she was “losing my nerve to anywhere!”. “I’m now choosing to avoid driving if poss, which is def. not good … I’ve got to keep going, I know, but …” she wrote, going on to say that MawBroon was spot on about noting that giving up driving little by little was a slippery slope to not driving at all. “I can see that I’ve started going down it, so must get a grip!” she added.

Others suggested sensible precautions, such as avoiding rush hours,  factoring in time for plenty of rest stops and even parking close to a convenient bus stop part-way through the journey to reduce the amount of driving. “I think one of our strengths as older drivers is the ability to realise that we need to take breaks on a long (or even not that long) journeys,” Deedaa commented. “We aren’t so gung ho about carrying on regardless.”

But overall, the message was that a driver should be sensible in acknowledging that they may have come to a point where their dislike of certain drives could be a danger to themselves or others,.

As a user called Nitpick48 said, “It doesn’t bother me that I’m reluctant to drive – I know my limitations and I’m pretty sure a nervous driver is a dangerous driver”.

Do you think you’d know when it was time to drive shorter distances or avoid certain journeys due to traffic? Do you believe other drivers are aware of their own limitations in this regard?