Showing your body to a new partner

I was married for 40 happy years, but then a couple of years ago my partner, then 60, cheated on me

I was married for 40 happy years, but then a couple of years ago my partner, then 60, cheated on me with a woman at his work, and that spelt the end of our relationship. It was heartbreaking for me. I couldn’t look at him in those months where we were sorting out our assets and still living together. It made me sick that he had left me for a woman 30 years his junior – what was he thinking?

I’m not one of those silly wives either who denied there was an issue or wasn’t intimate with my husband. Quite the contrary! As I learnt in my counselling sessions with him, he is a sex addict and couldn’t help himself.

Nevertheless, we went our separate ways. In the last year, I’ve looked into dating and there’s been a major roadblock for me. It’s not that I’m not confident or don’t believe there isn’t someone out there for me, but I don’t feel like I’m ready to show my body.

I have wrinkles, skin tags, grey hair, peach fuzz – you name it. I also have had a mastectomy on my left breast so I have one large drooping breast, and one missing. I wear a special bra to fill in the gaps but when the lights go out, I dread what he’d think if a partner saw me. When I was a young woman I had no qualms taking my clothes off for my suitors (or talking about it now!). I was pert, looked fabulous and didn’t think anyone would be repulsed by me. Now… well, I’m just being honest. I honestly believe my body will not make someone feel hot under the collar.

I don’t know how to change my mind about this – especially when my husband left me for a woman much younger and more supple than I. It’s destroyed my body image and how I feel about my sexuality. How can anyone love this? Or am I thinking about this too much?

I just want to find someone who loves me for all of me, without being worried about judgement. Are there men out there in their 60s would could look past a body that wasn’t perfect and smooth?

Tell us your advice for this writer below.

  1. Should have no inhibitions. No one has a perfect body in their 60’s and 70’s.

  2. Well I’m not the best looking person around and there for don’t worry about how some one else looks if there is a chemistry don’t be shy that part of a relationship is a bonus,it’s more important to get on with each other with common interests and be happy.

    • I don’t normally comment on this stuff LOL but you are NOT the worst man around either, you won’t have problem finding anyone if your looking

    • Thank you Libbi Elliot if every one in this world paid nice compliments it would be a much better place.

  3. Don’t worry about how you look, a real man is only concerned with the real person inside and how to treat you like a princess.

  4. At 74 I agree with Percy Mason , who you are is more important . To have a good loving understanding partner weather male or female is what makes life enjoyable. Over 60 we men dont always rise to the occasion and that’s a worry to us. But life is worth living to the full with one who we find ourselves attracted to

  5. I woulden’t worry too much, just keep the lighting low and hey, I bet he’s feeling pretty much the same.

  6. I agree with these gentleman.everyone has his or her issues with their looks and body.its the person inside that matters the go for it girl.

  7. Good on you. Just enjoy the experiences. Be careful and don’t listen to any hard luck stories from potential partners.

  8. And his body is great??? Jump in if you want to. I don’t too selfish at this stage

  9. I am really happy with my body i had thought it would be a lot worse than it is at this age.Take collagen tablets and drink protein shakes for breakfast,keep gluten to a minimum and you will definately see some firming up.But i’m sure your new man wouldn’t go out with you if he found you unattractive.

    • Rachel  

      Collagen tablets! Where does one get them from?

  10. the previous answers on here are trite and unhelpful; and I know exactly what the writer means. I struggle with the same dilemma and unfortunately have no answers for you. I wish I did. All I can suggest is to build your physical fitness and mental and spiritual self belief. Doing that negates your focus on your physical shortcomings.

  11. Interesting. They should take you for who you are, not what your body looks like. Their body would have imperfections or hang ups. My partner has been very complacent over the years a bit of attention from another person soon jolts into reality.

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