I was married for 40 happy years, but then a couple of years ago my partner, then 60, cheated on me with a woman at his work, and that spelt the end of our relationship. It was heartbreaking for me. I couldn’t look at him in those months where we were sorting out our assets and still living together. It made me sick that he had left me for a woman 30 years his junior – what was he thinking?
I’m not one of those silly wives either who denied there was an issue or wasn’t intimate with my husband. Quite the contrary! As I learnt in my counselling sessions with him, he is a sex addict and couldn’t help himself.
Nevertheless, we went our separate ways. In the last year, I’ve looked into dating and there’s been a major roadblock for me. It’s not that I’m not confident or don’t believe there isn’t someone out there for me, but I don’t feel like I’m ready to show my body.
I have wrinkles, skin tags, grey hair, peach fuzz – you name it. I also have had a mastectomy on my left breast so I have one large drooping breast, and one missing. I wear a special bra to fill in the gaps but when the lights go out, I dread what he’d think if a partner saw me. When I was a young woman I had no qualms taking my clothes off for my suitors (or talking about it now!). I was pert, looked fabulous and didn’t think anyone would be repulsed by me. Now… well, I’m just being honest. I honestly believe my body will not make someone feel hot under the collar.
I don’t know how to change my mind about this – especially when my husband left me for a woman much younger and more supple than I. It’s destroyed my body image and how I feel about my sexuality. How can anyone love this? Or am I thinking about this too much?
I just want to find someone who loves me for all of me, without being worried about judgement. Are there men out there in their 60s would could look past a body that wasn’t perfect and smooth?