Gran asks if it is ever okay to discipline someone else’s grandchild

One of the perks of being a grandparent is getting to see your grandchildren and fall in love with the little quirks in their personality. Falling in love with them means that it can be hard to hold back when other kids make them upset.

One gran asked for advice about how to deal with one of her friend’s rude grandson, a boy who hurt the feelings of her own grandson at a birthday celebration. Taking to online forum Gransnet, the grandmother questions whether she should have a chat with her friend about the boy’s behavior or keep out of of it altogether.

The gran explains on the forum that she looks after her grandson once a week and during that time got friendly with another gran who looks after her grandson, who is around the same age. However, she says that while her own grandson is well-behaved the same can’t be said for her friends’ grandson.

“He speaks to her really badly – shouts at her for forgetting his scooter or whatever, and generally treating her like his slave,” the woman, who used the name minimo, wrote. “She laughs it off and it’s obviously not my business to comment so I’ve tried to ignore it hoping my [grandson] doesn’t pick up any bad habits. ”

The woman explained to members of the forum that it had recently been the rude boy’s birthday and that she went out with her grandson to picked out a gift.

“It was the boy’s birthday last week so we took him a little present today.” she wrote. “My [grandson] handed it over and the little boy ripped it open only to exclaim in disgust that he didn’t like it and would throw it in the bin.”

“My [grandson] had helped pick it out for his friend (it was a dinosaur puzzle so nothing too out of the ordinary I thought?) and I could see he was very confused and upset by this reaction.”

She then went on to explain that although the other gran was apologetic she did not discipline her grandson and noted that he should have been the one apologising, “I know he’s only 4 but surely manners should be taught from an early age? What do you think? Is this normal behaviour?” she wrote.

The forum’s commenters were quick to have their say on the issue and with most agreeing that that sort of behaviour was not on.

“Sounds like a horrid spoilt brat! Manners start at an early age I quite agree with you. Your grandson will have learnt a lesson too…..how not to behave!” one user said.

“I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. The little boy was rude beyond rude,” another agreed.

Another user thought her friend may have disciplined him later, “Is it possible she thought it better not to make a big thing of it at the time, but gave the little boy a big lecture later?”.

As for advice, one woman said the silent treatment was the way to go, “I would be angry too, although I wouldn’t say anything. I hope my silence would speak volumes.”

Most of the other commenters said not to get involved and to make sure her grandson has no further ineractions with the child.

Have you ever been in a situation like this? How did you deal with it?

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