Many grandparents may form a special bond with a grandchild, whether it be their first born, the one they see the most of, or for any number of other reasons. However, few admit to that bond eclipsing their love for their other grandkids.
Now, one grandmother has sparked a heated debate after admitting she feels closer to her grandson than her two granddaughters – so much so, she sees the boy as ‘hers’ and the girls as the other grandmother’s.
Taking to grandparenting forum Gransnet, the woman admitted she had grown closer to her daughter’s son, while she almost felt “distant” from her son’s daughters.
“I’m finding it difficult… I’m finding myself feeling always annoyed and distant from my son’s children and close to my daughter’s son,” she wrote.
Explaining she had helped to bring up her grandson from birth, the woman admitted not seeing that much of her granddaughters in comparison had made it harder to bond.
“My granddaughters live with there (sic) mum… I feel bad that I distance myself and wonder if I feel the same as other grans… that my daughter’s kids are mine but my son’s are his partner’s mum’s… help me understand my feelings,” she pleaded.
It got a mixed response from other grandparents, with one slamming her for referring to the child as ‘hers’ in the first place. They wrote: “Your daughters children are NOT ‘yours’ they are hers.
“Your son’s children are just as much your grandchildren as they are the grandchildren of your son’s partner’s parents. I know there is this ‘thing’ that daughters are closer to their parents, especially when it comes to grandchildren, but it doesn’t have to be like that.”
However others defended her, with one writing: “I am closer to the grandchildren I see often. I think that’s natural to feel that way. You have more opportunity to bond with them. I would love to be close to all of them but that’s life.”
Responding to some of the comments, the gran explained she had recently experienced heartbreak herself, and added: “I guess it’s because my husband passed away the year they were all born and I brought my daughter’s son into the world and it made me question my feelings and needed input.”