A young girl was waiting for her mother to come out of the grocery store. As she waited, she was approached by a man who asked, “Darling, can you tell me where the Post Office is?”
The young girl replied, “Sure! Just go straight down this street a coupla blocks and turn to your right.”
The man thanked the girl kindly and said, “I’m the new priest in town. I’d like for you to come to church on Sunday…I’ll show you how to get to Heaven.”
The young girl replied with a chuckle. “You’re joking me, right? You don’t even know the way to the Post Office!”
Bob, a funeral director, recently came home with a black eye.
“What happened to you?” asked his wife.
“I had a terrible day” replied Bob.
“I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep. When I got there, the manager said they couldn’t get him into a body bag because he had this massive erection”.
“Anyway, I went up and, sure enough, there was this big naked guy on the bed with this huge erection. So I grabbed it with both hands and tried to bend it in half”.
“I see”, said his wife, “that must have been awful, but how did you get the black eye?”
Bob replied, ” …Wrong room …”