A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, “This is phenomenal. You’ve graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled.
“Normally, we’d hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position, and we’re afraid that your constant winking will scare off potential customers. I’m sorry….we can’t hire you.”
“But wait,” he said. “If I take two aspirin, I’ll stop winking!”
“Really? Great! Show me!”
So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavoured condoms; finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking.
“Well,” said the interviewer, “that’s all well and good, but this is a respectable company, and we will NOT have our employees womanising all over the country!”
“Womanising? What do you mean? I’m a happily married man!”
“Well then, how do you explain all these condoms?”
“Oh,” he sighed. “Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?”
A Cardiologist dies and is given an elaborate funeral.
A huge heart covered in flowers stands behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy, the flowered heart opens, and the casket is gently rolled inside.
The heart then closes and the Cardiologist is sealed in the beautiful heart forever.
Seeing the procedure, one of the mourners bursts into laughter. When all eyes stare at him, he explains, “I’m sorry, I was just thinking of my funeral. You see, I’m a Gynaecologist.”