7 things I’ve learnt about being a long-distance granny

Like a lot of people out there, I have children and grandchildren who live far away from me. I live in beautiful Cairns whereas my children and their kids live in Sydney, Perth and the world. I can’t always get from place to place easily and they can’t always get up here to see us. I wish I saw everyone more and it’d be nice to attend some birthdays, but i can’t dwell on what I don’t have – I have to appreciate what I do have. I have friends who are constantly going to family events while my husband and I clutch a photo! I refuse to be the grandparent who isn’t active in my grandchildrens’ lives. I have 4 grandchildren from 11 to 27 and the eldest lives in London. I speak to her regularly and it’s the most wonderful part of my day when I do. I was not very technology-savvy a couple of years ago but now I look at what I can do with a few simple programs and it’s just opened me up to so much more. As much as I’ve begged them to visit us more, we can’t have it all. They’re healthy and happy and although we’re apart, I’m determined to keep them close.

As a long distance granny, I have figured out a few things. Here is what I’ve learnt from being away from my family for so long…

1. Never take them for granted

Such a simple thing but the minute you take your family for granted is the minute they pull away. I loved having my daughter and sons closer when they were in their 20s, but life took them on another path. I couldn’t hold them back and sometimes I think back to the arguments we had over them lying on the couch too much but now I wish it happened more! When they visit, you couldn’t measure the smile on my face. I accommodate them and even if they make a mess, I just appreciate the time we have and count down to our next catch-up. I’m especially looking forward to Christmas this year after missing last year’s gathering.

2. Always send cards and set up reminders in an online calendar

I love to make cards in my spare time and call it silly, but I can’t wait until I can make my next one for the grandies or my kids. They love them (well at least I think they do!) but sometimes I forget when their birthdays are coming up. I have started to use Google Calendar to pop in their birthdays and I get a notification a week before so I can send it in time. It’s made my life a lot easier and for other things I need to remember too.
3. Learn to use Skype

Skype is a revelation! Many of us active over 60s are loving Skype but some of my dear friends haven’t yet caught on. I’ll admit I was a bit sceptical when I first logged on but once I realised it really was as simple as clicking on my family member’s picture to start chatting, all I had to do to prepare was do my hair! Any excuse’ll do really… but yes, Skype is fantastic. And I’ve been sending photos over the connection to my granddaughter in London and she does the same. I love to see her face and hear her voice. I use it on my phone as well when I get a call when I’m out and it’s made being a long-distance granny quite effortless.
4. Good old fashioned letter writing

Call me an old bag but I think letter writing is still “cool”! I write to my grandkids occasionally and they tell me how much they love the letters. I’m not sure if they’re just trying to spare me but there’s a certain thrill to seeing a letter instead of a bill when you check the letterbox. Of course I don’t write cursive letters in indecipherable text – I’ve learnt to keep it brief and include some photos…which leads me to the next thing I’ve learnt…

5. How to print out photos

I know it’s an improvement in technology to keep your photos safe and stored on your computer, but I would much prefer to have them displayed around my house. I’ve been using Snapfish to print my photos…I don’t even need to go to Kmart or a photo lab anymore. You can just add the pics online and they get sent to you quickly. It really makes me feel a lot happier to have photos of everyone and it helps if I get confused which one is which (only kidding)

6. Encourage and support

When you talk to your family as much as I do, you become privy to some interesting information they accidentally blurt out. If there’s one thing I’ve truly learnt from being a long distance granny, is to be more understanding and supportive. Oh, you’ve got a room mate that you don’t know? That’s fantastic, love. You are buying a $30,000 car and you work part time? If that’s want you want, dear. I can give advice from afar but I’ve learnt to take a step back and try not to interfere too much as it’s gotten me nowhere. Of course if they say “Gran I want to shave my head and move to Peru”, I’m going to be worried, but I think it’s important to be a friend if you want to maintain a long distance relationship.

7. Online games

Games! You can’t stop me from playing my games. My grandson and I versus each other on Words with Friends and it’s a great way to keep in contact without needing to chat too much as I know some younger guys are a bit put off by it. I’m sure he’ll appreciate my fascinating stories in years to come…

Are you a long-distance grandparent? How far away does your family live? How do you stay in contact? Share your stories below.