Kindness trumps looks, humour and money when it comes to finding love: Study

It’s a cliche long-held that singles looking for love will often favour a potential partner who comes with a sizeable bank balance to boot, but now a new study has revealed that isn’t the case. It turns out good old fashioned kindness is actually far more desirable in a partner than more superficial traits, such as good looks or a bulging wallet.

Researchers at Swansea University in the UK carried out the study, with the results published in the Journal of Personality, and looked at the dating preferences of young adults from Singapore, Malaysia and Hong Kong, as well as Western countries such as the UK, Norway and Australia.

They surveyed more than 2,700 university students from around the world, asking participants to build themselves their ideal partner by using a fixed budget to ‘buy’ certain characteristics and traits. Interestingly, while a lot of weight was given to the likes of physical attractiveness and financial prospects, being kind emerged as the most important trait.

Participating students were given a list of eight attributes they could spend “mate dollars” on, which were; physical attractiveness, good financial prospects, kindness, humour, chastity, religiosity, the desire for children and creativity. And, on average, people spent around 22-26 per cent of their overall budget on kindness.

“Looking at very different culture groups allows us to test the idea that some behaviours are human universals,” principle researcher, Dr Andrew G. Thomas, said in a statement. “If men and women act in a similar way across the globe, then this adds weight to the idea that some behaviours develop in spite of culture rather than because of it.”

While the study revealed similarities in the wants of participants from both Eastern and Western nations, it also revealed differences. The main one being the desire to have children, which emerged as a priority only for Western women.

“We think this may have something to do with family planning,” Thomas added. “In cultures where contraception is widespread, a partner’s desire for children may predict the likelihood of starting a family.

“In contrast, in cultures where contraception use is less widespread, having children may be a natural consequence of sex within a relationship, making actual desire for children less relevant.”

The researchers also found that both Eastern and Western men allocated more of their budget to physical attractiveness than women (22 per cent compared to 16 per cent) while women prioritised good financial prospects more than men (18 per cent compared to 12 per cent).

And it seems that finding a long-term partner can also reap benefits for your health, with another recent study revealing this week that being happily married can help reduce your risk of developing dementia.

Researchers from Sweden explored whether a person’s mood, marital status and living situation is related to an increased risk of dementia and analysed two studies of older adults from different generations. The report, published in the American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, followed more than 4,000 over-60s for more than a decade.

The study found that the risk of dementia over nine years was 20 per cent greater in people who had a low mood than those who were happier. This increased risk was observed only in people who lived alone or didn’t have a partner and not those who were married or lived with someone.

Researchers found that participants who lived alone also had an increased risk of dementia in a three-year follow up period compared to people who were married or lived with someone else. Interestingly, it was found that when a person’s marital status and living situation were both taken into account, participants who suffered from a low mood and had a partner but lived alone or those who were single were 40 per cent more likely to develop dementia.